Call it torture, call it University
by Nikita-chan6
Summary: Youtube this: "Organization XIII Induction Ceremony"' -Saix I smiled. Saix was such a sweet boy.  The entire KH gang at College! Chaos is sure to ensue. AU
1. Roxas

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own any of the material! This collaborative effort consisting of myself, iPercy, and ih8yaoi (sorry fangirls, you are barking up the wrong yaoi tree, try iPercy's account!) It will be posted and updated on my and iPercy's accounts. Please review, we welcome any complaints, comments, and general feedback. Thank you ****  
**

"Hey what gives!?" I screamed as I was rudely shoved out of the black pick up truck.

"Sorry Roxas, but I did say I was in a rush. Now get your ass out of my car. Be sure to visit on weekends and holidays. Later!"

With that Cloud backed out of the parking area and rushed onto the road leaving my belongings and me on the side walk. I looked up at the creepy gray walls of Oblivion University. Great, this was going to be just great! Now I have to find the stupid dorms, with my stupid room and drag all my heavy items to what could possibly be on the other side of campus.

"Hey blondie, you wouldn't happen to be Roxas would you? Heard I was getting a new roomie and I've been waiting for all the freshies to pile in. You look like you could be a Roxas," a red haired man said. He was standing a few feet away from me, two tear shaped tattoos under his eyes and a lighter in his hand that he kept turning on and off.

"Yeah I am a Roxas. Wait you've been waiting here ALL day? Are you crazy?"

"Hey I got to make sure I protect my room, what if Roxas was some kind of mafia kid? I'd send him to this blond kid I met, I had a plan you see. Name's Axel, got it memorized?" the man asked tapping his temple with his free hand.

"Yeah well I'm Roxas, and no, I am not in the mafia," I said with a smile.

"Good to know. Here let me help you with that," Axel said taking some of the heavy boxes, "our room isn't too far from here and if you finish unpacking early I can show you some of the freaky people I met today. Told them I'd go eat dinner with them."

The day was already looking up. My roommate was actually helpful and I didn't have to wander around campus with a billion boxes of junk. Now all I had to do was get my things set up and email Leon and beg him to kick Cloud's ass for me.

***

I was wrong, boy was I DEAD wrong, my roommate was a nutcase. The first thing that got me about our room was the smell of burning paper. He had a small bonfire going in the middle of our room. Freaking pyro! And if that wasn't bad enough there was clothes and paper all over the room. My bed had burn marks on it.

"Sorry that the room is a mess, I did try to clean up but then I remembered I am a college kid so it's okay," Axel said dropping my boxes on the desk on "my" side of the room.

"A mess? This room looks like someone tried to rob you, then a tornado hit it followed by lightning!"

"Hey, it could have been worse, you could have had this Demyx kid I met today. He lives right next door with this sixteen-year-old science nerd. The Demyx guy actually plays his little guitar thing all day long. His room mate already kicked him out once."

"It's a sitar! And actually it was twice as of seven minutes ago, I've only been here for thirty minutes this has to be a record for the "most hated roommate" awards. I was only trying to show Zexy that there was more to life than those nasty old books," came a voice from behind them. We spun around and there in all his wet glory stood another blonde, his hair seemed like it didn't know what it wanted to be and he was cradling his sitar.

"That's our little Zexion for you, always being a nerd. I have an idea! Lets get him drunk," Axel said.

"OMG that would be AMAZING!" Demyx responded.

I just banged my head against the wall. Axel is a nutcase and this Demyx guy is a DUMBASS! I thought I would leave all that crazy stuff back in Twilight Town! A loud thump and a girly shriek made me stop banging my head and turn back to the two idiots. Axel was on the ground with a huge hardcover physics book on his face. Wait, a minute what? I looked towards Demyx, he had pushed his sitar behind him in a protective manner. My eyes followed Demyx's gaze to a short teen with messy blue hair covering one of his eyes. He had a button down shirt, neat jeans, and glasses. He was glaring daggers at Axel.

"Demyx, time out is over you can come back now," the boy said in a very calm (AND CREEPY AS HELL) manner.

"Okay Zexy!" Demyx shouted and ran out of the room.

"As for you, Axel, get near any of my beverages and I will aim my books a little lower next time and trust me it will hurt," he threatened, "and you, new roommate guy, you seem smart so I suggest you keep your bitch in line. Come by our room if he ever drives you nuts, you seem kind of normal. Goodnight Roxas, oh and Axel our walls aren't very thick, I can hear _everything_ you say."

And with that the weird little kid was gone. I stared over at Axel, he was still on the floor. I kneeled down next to him, removing the book from his face. It had left a huge red mark on his face (OUCH!). I poked him a few times but he wouldn't move. Right so time for a walk. I grabbed my wallet from one of the smaller boxes and headed out the door all the while thinking to myself 'maybe this is just not for me.'


	2. Riku

**WE DO NOT OWN KINGDOM HEARTS. Also fangirls, this is NOT a YAOI!!! Not everything has to be about mansex!!! The only mansex is Xemnas, (and it's only because his name spells it.) This is a collaborative effort between myself, iPercy, and ih8yaoi. I wrote this chapter from Riku's point of view.**

Riku's POV

I stared at the letter. I couldn't tear my eyes away from it. It spelled the end of my freedom. It was from Sora.

_Hey Riku!!! Kairi and I missed you this summer! Why didn't you come home? I wanted to come and see you but Kairi wanted to spend time together (wink wink). Anyway I was writing to tell you that Kairi and I were accepted to Oblivion University!!! Isn't that great!? The three of us will be united again!_

The rest of the letter was similar to that. I groaned I was enjoying my time alone. The reason I came to Oblivion University was because of how far away it was from Destiny Islands and Twilight Town. I wanted to get away form Kairi, Sora, Sora's cousin Roxas and his friends.

"Damn it." I said pulling myself out of my bed. I headed for the door of my dorm, when I opened it I heard a shriek.

"What the hell!?" I yelled.

"Crap! That hurt!" I sighed as I recognized Axel's voice.

I stepped outside and stared at the idiot.

"Axel what are you doing?"

"Riku!"

"Answer the question Axel." I said sternly.

He grimaced. "Nice to see you too Riku. I'm just looking for my roommate."

"Who might that be?" I asked.

"His name is Roxas, he's a little blonde kid."

"Roxas?" I could feel my heart sink

"Yeah Roxas, got it memorized?" Axel grinned.

I sighed, I had heard correctly. "Damn it all to hell!." I yelled.

Axel jumped. "Did I do something wrong?"

"Yeah, your roommate is Roxas."

"Hey I didn't pick him, if I did have a choice I would've picked someone a little less flighty."

I actually smiled. "Axel no matter who your roommate is, two minutes with you is all they need before they start running."

Axel grinned. "Now there's the Riku I know. So what's wrong with Roxas? I guess you know him."

"Yeah he's my friend's cousin. I got a letter from my friend telling me that he will be attending this University. I came here to get away from this friend. So not only are Sora and his girlfriend Kairi coming but Sora's cousin Roxas. I can't get away from them!" I ranted.

Axel put a hand on my shoulder. "Relax dude you've got me, your good buddy Axel."

"Not very reassuring." I said shrugging off his hand and walking away.

"Where are you going?" He called after me.

"Away from you and everyone else." I replied gloomily.

…

I walked around campus, heading towards the lake. I watched as returning students greeted their friends and new students said goodbye to their parents and walked towards the entrance with fear in their eyes. Finally I reached the lake and I sat down at its edge. I watched the ducks swim in the water, happy and carefree. I sighed.

"I guess the fun is over." I closed my eyes and lay down on the grass.

"The fun's just started Riku!" Sora's loud and cheerful voice made me jump up in fear.

"Holy shit!" I screamed as I jumped up. "Sora what the hell is wrong with you!? You can't sneak up on people like that!" I scolded.

Sora pouted. "What the hell happened to you? I thought you'd be happy to have us here." It was then that I noticed Kairi hiding behind Sora.

I sighed, in a way I was happy to have them here, they are my friends, but I was enjoying my time alone.

"I'm sorry," I said smiling at them. "You just caught me off guard."

Sora gave his usual goofy grin. "It's great to see you again!"

Kairi stepped out from behind him and gave me a hug.

"We missed you Riku, we came here to be with you."

I smiled sadly as I returned her hug.

"I missed you guys too." I said truthfully. Sora joined the hug, wrapping his arms as far as they would go around the two of us.

"Well isn't this sweet?" My eyes snapped open and I glared at Axel.

Pushing Sora and Kairi away I turned to Axel. He smiled and held up his hands in surrender.

"Calm down, I'm still looking for Roxas. I wasn't following you okay?"

I continued to glare at him.

"Roxas?!" Sora piped up. I sighed, time for introductions.

"Axel, these are my best friends, Sora and his girlfriend Kairi. Roxas is Sora's cousin. Guys," I said turning to the two of them. "This is Axel. He's in my class; we met our freshmen year when we were roommates."

"Yup!" Axel said dropping an arm around my shoulder. "Good times. Any who, Sora would you like to help me look for your cousin? He's my roommate you see and I wanted to hang out and get to know him."

I silently prayed that Sora would say no.

"We'd love to help, right Riku?"

My worst fears were realized. I sighed. "Yeah, why not?"

"Fantastic!" Axel cried. "Let's get started."

Together we left the lake and began to wander around campus. Along the way we met Olette, a friend of Roxas's from Twilight Town.

_An Hour and a Half Later:_

We decided to convene in the mess hall.

"Where the hell can he be?" Axel cried exasperated.

"Roxas, I just want to say, you're a dumbass!" Laughed someone.

We all spun around to see who it was. I groaned when I recognized who just walked into the mess hall. Roxas froze when he saw Axel jump up from our table.

"Roxas!!!" He cried happily. Sora promptly shoved Axel to the side.

"Roxas!" Sora yelled.

Kairi smiled. "Hey Roxas!" she called out.

Hayner grinned. "What's up guys? Long time no see!" Hayner and Xion dragged Roxas to our table. Roxas slumped down on the seat beside me. When Hayner and Xion sat down I heard Roxas mutter. I turned to him and smiled.

"Shit, is right. Well Roxas it looks like we're doomed to be with these people for the rest of our lives."

Roxas nodded as Axel yelled across the room.

"Yo Demyx! Over here! Zexy you too!"

Zexion and some blonde kid with a sitar came walking over. Roxas groaned and I sighed.

I turned to Roxas. "So it begins."

Roxas smiled sadly. "Our own personal hell."


	3. Axel

**WE DO NOT OWN KINGDOM HEARTS, if we did there would be a shit ton of games and merchandise, also we would be effin rich! Also fangirls, this is NOT a YAOI!!! Not everything has to be about mansex!!! The only mansex is Xemnas, (and it's only because his name spells it.) This is a collaborative effort between myself, iPercy, and ih8yaoi. iPercy wrote this chapter from Axel's point of view.**

Axel's POV

"Wake up!" I heard in a distance. I let out a groan shutting my eyes tighter. I REFUSE TO WAKE UP!

"Can't get him up Roxas?" I heard a new voice say. "I see. Let me try something."

I felt something heavy press against my body. Still I kept my eyes shut, college be damned.

"Axel, Larxene is waiting for you by the pool," the second voice whispered.

Instantly I shot up, slamming my face against something hard.

"FUCK AXEL! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT FOR?!"

I let my eyes adjust; I could make out Zexion rubbing the side of his head.

"Well what the hell were you doing looming over me like that. Now spill was Larxene really by the pool waiting for me," I said.

"No! She was waiting for Mar- Mar something, and for your information I was trying to make sure you weren't late for physics," Zexion shouted back, getting off my bed.

Roxas was just flat out laughing on the floor. I rubbed my head where I had collided with Zexion before making my most loveable puppy-dog-face (and by the sound of Roxas' increased laughter I was failing) at Zexion before having my own backpack pelted at me. That kid's got issues! When I didn't think my day could get worse our door was slammed opened to reveal a very pissed Riku…oh shit!

"YOU DIDN'T SHOW UP TO BREAKFAST! I HAVE BEEN STUCK WITH SORA'S OBNOXIOUS HYPER ACTIVE VOICE AND WE ARE ABOUT TO BE LATE FOR PHYSICS! I AM FIVE MINUTES AWAY FROM CHOPPING YOU UP AND EATING YOUR REMAINS!!!" he shouted.

I was just stunned. When I finally got over the small lapse of shock I allowed my eyes to take in my other two companions. Zexion's jaw had actually dropped; I never thought I'd see the day. If I weren't so scared I'd probably laugh at him. Roxas was a different situation; he looked like he was between laughing again and defending his "poor defenseless cousin" (I swear he's like Sora's mother or something)

"Alright, I think we should go then. You coming Zexion?" I asked, trying to hide the fear in my voice.

"Yeah, but Axel I don't—

"Zexy, I don't think Riku would be happy with us if we made him wait anymore," I said gaining some confidence back.

"No, you make me wait any more and I'll make you EAT my physics book. But I think what Zexion was trying—

"No, no, don't worry I packed yesterday I didn't forget anything I swear. If anything Saix will lend me his stuff. Come on guys don't wanna be late," I said.

I slid out of my bed, swung my backpack over my shoulder (pushing Riku slightly out of the way so I could make my way out the door frame) and walked out. I had made my way down the hall when I heard Roxas' laughter again (I swear that kid has got to get a hold on his laughter). I spotted familiar silvery-blue hair and made my way up to my best friend in the entire world.

"Hey Saix, how come I haven't seen you around the dorms," I asked.

"I got transferred to a single dorm on the other side of campus. I was actually just coming to get you and Riku when I decided to just meet you guys in class. Axel…why aren't you wearing any pants?" he asked, stopping abruptly in the middle of the hallway to just stare me down.

I gave him a confused look before looking down and noting that I was still in my boxers and my t-shirt.

"I do it for the ladies?" I said quickly.

"Well the ladies seem to find it hilarious too," Saix stated with a smirk. He pointed to a group of girls who began laughing as loudly as possible.

Mother f—

It took a few more laughing people, a book to the face and the last 4 minutes we had but we almost made it on time to physics. I was the first one at the door and opened the door softly as to not attract any unwanted attention to us as we tried to sneak it. When the door was opened enough to expose all of us we were immediately attacked by nerf gun "bullets."

"What the hell?" Saix shouted as he began swatting at them.

"Hey dudes, welcome to physics. Names Xigbar, no professor or doctor nothing, just Xigbar. First lesson of the semester: PHYSICS IS A LIE!" Came a voice from inside.

The bullets stopped suddenly. I looked into the room to find…nothing…what the hell?

"Hey dudes, up here!"

We all looked up at the same time. There was our teacher in nothing but an opened shirt and swimming trunks hanging upside down from the hanging lights. Wait, does this guy have an eye patch? Random!

"What are you? A pirate?" Riku asked in amusement.

"Haha, funny. Don't forget punk I can fail you. Well that's it for class today. I was actually waiting for the last of the class to show up, congratulations guys you win. Now I just have something to ask you," our professor said.

"Yeah, and what's that?" I asked him.

"Get a custodian in here; I don't know how to get down without breaking my neck!" He shouted.

"But if we let you down 'you could fail me'" Riku said.

Xigbar palled, "if you don't get me down I am failing all of you."

"We still have time to drop this class. I'm out, and I am going to see if I can drive my car into a lake to avoid my friends, later." Riku stated walking out.

"I have homework that needs to get done, I am on the dean's list and I intend to stay on it. Good luck getting down professor," Saix said with a smirk, running after Riku.

"I'll leave you in the capable hands of my little buddy here. Don't worry though he might be short but he doesn't have our short attention span. Hey Zexion, you think your roommate will wanna go to the beach? I mean we could just leave the teach here and all head over. The car ride will take at least four hours; Roxas will be in the front with me, naturally. That leaves Kairi, Demyx and Sora in the back with you," I teased.

"I am getting a custodian," Zexion shouted as he ran in the opposite way of the custodian's office.

I think I'll assume Zexion is actually going to get a custodian.

"Good luck Xigbar," I said, laughing (why is everyone laughing today? Maybe there is something in the water?).

Five Hours Later

"I am so bored. Saix do something. Entertain me. Tell me a story about a pony named Bob!" I said, banging my head against the table in the library.

"There once was a pony named Bob, rocks fall on Bob. Sucks to be Bob. There now study! We already have a quiz coming up for Vexen's biology class," Saix muttered flipping through the five textbooks on the table.

"I already studied with Roxas last night, sort of," I shot back.

"I doubt what you did with Roxas last night counts as studying," Saix said looking at me for the first time "I mean you threw your bio book at the wall to see how many bangs it would take to make Zexion come into your room!"

"Hey I opened it didn't I!"

"Yes, but only so you could burn the first 5 pages!"

"Paper was made to be burned…"

"Yeah but the first 5 pages are the ones that will be on the test."

"Can I borrow your book?"

"Will you burn it?"

"No?"

"You sure?"

"No?"

"Axel!"

"I LOVE YOU!"

"Then no, you can't use my book!"

"WE SHOULD JOIN A FRAT!"

"And that's the end of that attention span"

"Come on Saix, it'll be so much fun," I pleaded.

Saix just glared at me and attempted to go back to reading. I whimpered. He eyed me over his book and looked back at the pages. I whimpered again. He turned to another book, letting his eyes trail over my face before returning to the book. I whimpered and this time I added a pout. He looked at me again and sighed.

Bingo!

"Fine! Let's join your damn frat. Now which one do you want to join? If my grades go down and I lose my rank to that prepubescent boy I will castrate you!" He replied closing his book.

"THIS ONE! It's called Organization thirteen! It's a new fraternity that the dean made. It looks so cool! I know one of the members already. It sounds so cool!" I exclaimed.

"The member is a girl isn't it?"

"Only one of the hottest chicks on campus. Come on, you know you wanna join too. Wait a minute did you call Zexion prepubescent?"

"Yeah."

"Isn't the brat like 16-ish. That's after puberty. Shit! I think I might fail biology," I shouted, returning to the whole banging head on the desk thing.

"Don't strain yourself too much," Saix teased.

"Now I have a head ache and I feel dumb. I thought after freshmen year the smart would just come to me. I know! I just need to suck up more freshmen-ness. Oh, ROXAS!"

With that last comment I was out the door, jogging to the lake where I knew Roxas would have to walk by after class (he's my room mate so it's not really stalking if I know. I mean he left his schedule right there!).

It didn't take long for me to spot Roxas' blond hair in the crowd. Roxas, unfortunately, saw me coming and took off running. Great!

"Roxas wait!"

"Sorry Axel I have a class!" he said disappearing around a building.

"No you don't!" I shouted running behind the building, I froze.

Roxas was nowhere to be seen.

"Friggin' ninja, where the hell did he go?"

I dug my hands into my pockets, running my fingers over the lighter in my right pocket. Pulling the small silver lighter out of my pocket, I began to flip it open and close.

"Well if Roxy is in class I guess I can just go back to burning his side of the room," I said clicking the lighter on.

"DON'T YOU DARE!" I heard Roxas' voice coming from a tree.

"I am sorry Mr. tree but I am not the one going crazy here, that's Demyx's job so I am just gonna go to the dorms, got it memorized," I teased.

"Axel," Roxas shouted "go near my stuff and I will castrate you. What do you want that's so important?"

"Well," I said "Roxas how do freshmen pass classes?"

"I beg your pardon? Are we some kind of subspecies now?" Roxas asked as he climbed down from the tree.

"Well not you, just your kind. I used to know how to pass exams but I am sure the dean had me brainwashed to get back at me for the rumors."

"What rumors?"

"I'd rather not say since I think my good looks might be next!"

"What exam could you possibly have in the first week?"

"Biology, Professor Vexen is a cruel man. A CRUEL MAN!"

"Wait, weren't you throwing your biology book around yesterday? Have you even attempted to study?"

"Studying? I think that's what Saix wants me to do, but I don't want to!"

"Then fail."

"Don't leave me Roxy! I need you!"

"Go bother Isa- or what ever his name is."

"Saix? He won't help me; he's being all boring and stuff. He has five books opened on the table! FIVE! Roxas can't you just rub some of your freshman witchcraft on me?"

"What witchcraft? You've been hanging with Demyx way too much."

I pouted at him.

"Axel!" he shouted "Fine, you win. I'll help you study. Any fooling around and I'll hit you though. Zexion is right; you do have a pout of DOOM."

"Even with a warning I still gotcha," I said with a wink.

"Yeah, yeah let's go back to the dorms," Roxas said.

"Um…excuse me; do you all know where I can find the dean's office? I am kind of new here," a girly voice called from behind us.

We both turned to find a petit girl with blonde hair, huge blue eyes, and a white dress. She was pretty cute.

"Sure do. Here we'll help you out. Names Axel, got it memorized," I said. The girl just stared straight at Roxas.

"Ignore my room mate, he's a nobody. My names Roxas," Roxy stated and the girl actually blushed.

"I resent that Roxy," I murmured.

"Yeah tough nobody cares. The dean's is on the way to our dorm we were heading there anyways. Are you a freshman?" Roxas asked.

"Thank you so much Roxas, I am a freshman so I need all the help I can get. I hope we can be friends. My name is Naminé," the girl said.

Friends? He already has a best friend and that would be me. Stupid girls and their stupid stupidness. I mean she likes Roxas. I was standing right there and nothing. Who doesn't want a piece of the hotness that is me? I mean come on I'm AXEL!

"I am sure we will be friends Naminé. I'll even introduce you to my friends when we get to the dean's. I know what its like to be lost in this school," Roxas stated.

He's not even trying and the girl's a puddle. Actually I think Roxas is serious about the whole friend thing.

"Thank you so much Roxas, you're a life saver," She said smiling.

DO NOT LIKE!


	4. Namine

**Disclaimer: We DO NOT OWN Kingdom Hearts, also this is not a YAOI! Guys, please review. This is my chapter.**

**iPercy and I are getting depressed, we might not continue it. We are not above begging, the first person to review will get a chapter dedicated to them by whichever one of us you want, at the end of your review just put which chapter you liked best (unless you know who wrote what chapter). This is from Naminé's point of view. Enjoy **

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Naminé's P.O.V

Roxas smiled at me.

"Ready to go?" he asked.

I blushed and nodded. Roxas turned to his friend Axel.

"Damn, looks like I'm going to have to talk to you later. See ya!" Roxas said taking my hand and dragging me away from Axel as quick as possible. Axel didn't follow us but when I looked back at him he seemed quite angry.

When Axel was out of sight Roxas stopped and let go of my hand. He let out a sigh.

"That guy is driving me nuts."

I tilted my head ever so slightly. I wanted to ask why but I had just met him and I didn't want to appear rude. Roxas gave me a smile, my heart raced in response.

"Well the dean's office is over this way," He said pointing in an easterly direction. Then his eyes widened when he saw the blue paint on his thumb. "What the…" he trailed off.

I quickly checked the hand he had held; I had blue paint on it. "I'm sorry Roxas," I said, "It was me." I showed him my hand and he noted the blue on it.

"No worries." He began walking and I fell into step beside him. "Are you a painter?"

I chuckled. "Not really, I mean I do enjoy sketching and painting but I'm afraid that I am not very good at the latter."

He smiled. "I'd like to see your paintings some time."

I nodded absentmindedly. _I probably won't see him again. _Roxas must have been watching me because he answered.

"Don't think that we won't see each other. I can't forget about a cute girl like you."

I blushed and turned to look at him.

"You were thinking that I was never going to see you again, I knew it." He smiled.

"Plus once you meet my friends they will latch on to you like leeches. I guess I should apologize beforehand, so I'm sorry about introducing you to my friends."

I laughed. "They can't be that bad."

Roxas let out an exasperated sigh. "Just you wait."

We approached a rather intimidating building that I assumed housed the dean. Just as we neared the said establishment a loud yell ripped through the air.

"RRROOOOXXAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSS!"

Roxas spun around, a panicked look on his face. "That sounded like," he muttered.

A spiky haired boy appeared on the horizon, a girl was at his side.

"Aw shit," Roxas swore. He turned to me. "Sorry."

I shook my head. "No problem."

The mysterious boy ran down to greet us; the girl struggled to keep up with his frantic pace.

He came to stop in front of us. I could now see that his spiky hair was a light shade of brown and that he had the same striking cobalt blue eyes as Roxas.

He pulled Roxas into an embrace.

"Roxas I found you!" Roxas awkwardly returned the hug.

The boy pulled away when the girl appeared. She had a pretty shade of auburn hair and crystal clear blue eyes.

Roxas smiled. "How are you doing Kairi?"

Kairi smiled back at him. "Great and yourself?"

"Pretty good."

"So who's your friend? If she's your girlfriend I will be pissed at the fact that you haven't told me," The boy said.

Roxas smiled. "Calm down she is not my girlfriend, I actually just met her." He turned to me. "Naminé this is my cousin Sora and his girlfriend Kairi. Sora and Kairi this is Naminé."

I smiled shyly at them. "It's nice to meet you both."

Sora gave me a goofy grin. "Are you a freshman?"

I nodded. "None of my friends come here. It is really far from my hometown so my father moved to Twilight Town, which isn't too far. He's the only family I have you see."

Roxas smiled. "I'm from Twilight Town."

"Really?"

He nodded. "Yeah it's a nice sleepy little town to the point where it can get a bit dull, but if you know people then you're set."

I smiled. "Well if you do not mind I would like to hang out with you when you go back home for the holiday breaks."

He nodded and grinned. "Of course. I'll introduce you to my friends Hayner, Pence, and Olette. They come here too."

My heart sank. _Olette? That sounded like a girl's name. His girlfriend maybe?_

Roxas turned to Sora and Kairi. "Well it was nice chatting but I promised I would take her to the dean's office."

"Okay, but you two should come out with us tonight. We're celebrating the beginning of college and University life," Sora offered.

"Only if Naminé wants too," Roxas said tuning to me.

Kairi laughed. "Yeah I don't know if she wants to meet all of our friends at once. They're best when taken in small doses."

Roxas agreed. "I would like to go," I said surprising all of them.

"Really!" Sora asked cheerily.

"Really?" Roxas asked incredulously.

Kairi just smiled. I blushed and nodded. "Yes I think going out with a lot people might be good for me."

Roxas sighed as Sora cheered.

"Okay, well let's go to the dean's first, find out what he wants, then I guess we'll meet up with you guys," Roxas said.

Sora nodded. "I'll text you when we figure out a time, Riku, Saix, and Zexion are giving us trouble. Overachievers," Sora scorned.

I giggled. "There is nothing wrong with that."

"Except when your best friend doesn't want to hang out with you," Sora whined.

Roxas looked at me. _Let's get out of here, _his eyes begged.

I nodded. I turned to Sora and Kairi and bowed to them. "It was nice to meet you but I really must be going."

Kairi nodded as she grabbed Sora's arm. "Of course, my boyfriend can be a bit talkative and childlike."

"I think Riku is avoiding me," He pouted. Kairi dragged him away. Roxas turned to me and cocked an eyebrow.

"What?" I asked walking towards the dean's building.

"You know what," He said walking after me.

"They were nice."

"Sora?"

"A little immature, yes, but nice."

"Are you sure you want to meet the rest of them?"

"Yes Roxas or I would've said no."

"Well so you know Riku is Sora's best friend and a nice slice of man cake. Seriously, girls line up in the streets to see him. I've never seen him with a girlfriend but I'm sure he gets lucky. Then there's my friend Hayner who is loud, abrasive and more often than not annoying. There is also Pence he's a great guy and Olette. She is one of the sweetest girls you will ever meet. That's why I wonder how she ever starting dating her current boyfriend."

"I take it he's not a friend of yours."

Roxas shook his head. "His name is Seifer and he is a real ass. Sorry for swearing."

I smiled. "It's okay I do not mind."

He smiled. "Yeah that's just a sample. It's going to be a wild night."

I giggled. "I'm sure it will be fun."

"It'll be something alright," Roxas agreed.

They stopped outside the door to the dean's office.

"I guess I'll wait for you."

I bowed to him. "Thank you so much Roxas."

"Don't thank me, I'm glad to help you meet people and escort you around campus."

I smiled as I walked into the dean's office.

* * *

I walked into the room. It was round and nicely furnished. The dean sat behind his large rectangular desk, engrossed in paperwork. My footsteps were muffled by the elegant Persian carpet. I approached the desk and cleared my throat.

"Excuse me sir?"

The dean lifted his head; strands of his silver hair fell in front of his face. I smiled.

"Hello."

Dean Xemnas gave me a smile. "Naminé! When did you get here I was just about to go pick you up at the train station." He turned to look at the clock on his desk; his face fell.

I smiled. "Don't worry about it."

He closed his eyes. "Your father is going to kill me," He groaned.

I laughed. "Please it is alright. I'm here now, I promise I won't tell father."

He smiled at me. "You are such a sweet child. How did you get here though?"

"I walked." The dean fell over.

"You walked? My dear girl the train station is quite far."

"I didn't mind. I enjoy walking. The landscape here is stunning."

He sighed. "You are an odd girl. Did you find my office alright?"

"Well I had to ask someone and he escorted me over," I replied.

"He?" the dean's eyes flickered. He had always been observant.

"Yes. Is there a problem?" I asked confused.

Dean Xemnas chuckled. "No not at all. When is your first class?"

"It is at 3:00 p.m. in the Monstro building."

"Do you need me to walk you there?" the dean offered.

"No it's alright my new friend Roxas is waiting for me outside," I said pointing to the door.

Dean Xemnas smiled. "Alright then good luck and be sure to visit often." He stood up to walk me out.

"I will I promise."

He opened the door and smiled at Roxas who was sitting idly on the couch outside. Roxas jumped up.

"Hello sir," He said nervously.

The dean smiled. "Hello." then he turned to me. "You promise to visit?"

I nodded. "I have to go now."

He nodded, "Alright I won't keep you from your class." He sighed.

I giggled. "Goodbye."

Roxas bowed clumsily. "Goodbye sir."

"Goodbye, study hard, and behave!" he called after us.

* * *

"So I guess you're close to the dean?" Roxas inquired once we had stepped out of the building.

"Yes he is a close friend of my father's. I hate to run but I have class in about 15 minutes and I still have to find the building."

"I'll walk you there. What building is it?"

"The Monstro building."

He gave me a goofy grin. "Well, we can look for it together."

I smiled. "I'd like that."

He reciprocated my smile. "Me too."

* * *

We found the building at about two minutes before class.

"What room is it?" Roxas asked.

"403."

"Crap the fourth floor and I don't see the elevator."

"Let us not waste time looking for it," I said opening the door to the stairs.

Roxas began to run up the stairs, but I struggled to keep up with him and he quickly noticed.

He was one entire flight ahead of me and he ran down and scooped me up in his arms.

"Roxas!" I protested.

"No time," He answered hurriedly.

I blushed as Roxas ran up the stairs, two at a time, all the while carrying me. Finally he stopped outside room 403, out of breath and panting. We were one minute late.

"Roxas," I said quietly.

He managed to stop gasping long enough to give me a smile. "I guess I'll go in with you, it beats being with Axel."

He somehow managed to open the door and walk in.

"Thank goodness," He whispered under his breath. I kept my eyes on the floor.

"Hey Roxas, I didn't know you were taking bio," I heard a male's voice say.

"I'm not." He began walking. When he stopped he placed me gently on the floor. I avoided everyone's gaze.

"The professor isn't here yet?" Roxas asked.

"No," a deep voice answered.

"Hey Nami…" Roxas's voice trailed off.

"Naminé?" he asked bending over so he could meet my gaze which was focused on the floor, "What's wrong?"

I swallowed. "Nothing," I squeaked and looked up. The blush had thankfully vanished from my face. "Really."

He nodded, uncertainty in his eyes. "Okay well, let me introduce you to some of my friends, the more sane ones."

"This is Zexion." He said motioning to a short boy with grayish blue hair. Half of it covered the right half of his face.

Zexion nodded. "Pleased to meet you Naminé."

I smiled slightly. "The pleasure is all mine."

Roxas stiffened slightly. "This is Riku." The boy stood up and I couldn't help blush. He was well built, or so his large biceps implied. He had shoulder length silver hair and the most astonishing turquoise eyes; I had never seen anyone with eyes of that color. Roxas was right though, Riku was very handsome.

Riku held out his hand. "It's nice to meet you Naminé." He smiled.

My face turned completely red and grew hot as I shook his hand. "It's nice to meet you too Riku."

"So Roxas," Riku said turning to him. "Why are you here?"

He shrugged. "I helped Naminé find the building and I'm kind of running away from Sora and Axel, so I think I'll stay here," Roxas said walking to an empty desk. I followed and sat beside him.

"This is Saix, he's also avoiding Axel, he even transferred into this later class to do it," Riku laughed, "You want to know how many classes I'm taking?"

Roxas turned to look at him. "Five?" he guessed.

Riku smiled. "Seven."

"Crap Riku! Seven? All to avoid Sora?"

Riku shrugged. "Beats getting annoyed. I almost punched Sora the other day."

Roxas smiled. "Damn, judging by the size of your biceps, you could've killed him."

The man with the X on his face, Saix turned to acknowledge us, "I am taking eight."

Zexion glared at Saix, "I am taking 9!"

"Well I am waiting for these two classes to open up, that will make 10." Saix stated.

Just then the professor walked in.

"Sorry I'm late ladies and gentlemen." He was a thin man with long blonde hair. He was struggling with what appeared to be a large crate. Riku stood up and helped out the professor.

"Thank you young man."

Riku nodded. "No worries." He returned to his seat.

The professor took a few minutes to organize himself and his desk. He turned to us. I noticed his eyes then; they had a wild look to them, almost crazy.

"Alright welcome to your first day of biology. The syllabus is on my desk please do not forget to pick one up on your way out. Now I don't want to waste anymore of your time but I do have something exciting to show you." He turned to his crate and then spun back around.

"By the way my name is professor Vexen, sorry I didn't introduce myself I am a bit excited and frazzled about my discovery." He turned back to the crate.

"Now before I let you go I just want to share with you my new discovery, the one that made me late this afternoon." He was slowly opening the crate.

"Everyone said I was crazy, they said I couldn't do it," he laughed maniacally. "But I did it! I'll show them!"

Roxas leaned over. "Nice choice in professor," He whispered to me.

"This was the only available class," I whispered terrified.

When the crate was opened there stood a young man with silver hair and familiar turquoise eyes. He was also in a strange purple and black jumpsuit with a strange insignia on it.

"Cloning is possible!" the clone stepped out of the box and smiled at us.

"Hey losers," He said cheerfully.

Saix, Zexion, Riku, Roxas, and I all stared slack jawed at professor Vexen's puppet. Riku stood up.

"What the fuck is that professor!"

"It's a clone of course. Are you slow? I said cloning was possible," The professor said matter-of-factly.

"I know that!" Riku cried. "Why is it a clone of ME!"

The professor looked at the clone, then at Riku, back to the clone, Riku.

"Well," he muttered. "The resemblance is striking, but you young man are a few years older than my clone Rikku, R-I-K-K-U."

"Rikku! Are you serious? My name is Riku, R-I-K-U! You just added an extra K! And that is exactly what I looked like when I was fifteen!"

I stared at the clone and leaned towards Roxas, "At fifteen Riku had those muscles?"

Roxas nodded. "Yes. You have no idea how hard it was for me to get a date whenever Riku was around."

"How the hell did you get my DNA, and without my consent? Isn't that illegal?"

Professor Vexen turned to Riku. "Settle down young man. My clone may bear a close resemblance to you but I can assure you that my materials came from certified and trusted sources."

"Bullshit! Where did you get _MY _DNA?" he demanded.

Saix cleared his throat and Zexion seemed to be mouthing something. Riku turned to both of them.

"What do you want? Don't you dare tell me to calm down."

"Axel," They said in unison.

Riku's eyes widened. "That fucker, I'm going to kill him." Riku's voice was eerily calm now.

He walked up to the professor and the Riku replica.

"I'm sorry professor but this," he grabbed the clone's wrist. "Is coming with me."

The professor shook his head. "Absolutely not. This is my creation…"

"That is an obvious copy of me." Riku interjected. Professor Vexen sighed.

"Fine, take it up with the dean."

"I intend to," Riku said marching to the door. Saix and Zexion slowly stood and followed him. Roxas took my hand.

"Come on, this oughta be good." He dragged me to my feet and pulled me out the door. Once we were safely out of the building Riku let out a loud yell.

"Where the fuck is Axel!"

"Probably in our dorm room," Roxas answered.

"He's dead!" Riku ran off leaving the replica behind. Rikku looked at us.

"Hey shorty, what's there to do around here?"

Zexion glared at Rikku. Roxas took out his phone and laughed.

"Sora texted me. He, Axel, and the others are waiting for us at the Coliseum Sports Grill.

Saix pulled out his phone and dialed Riku's number.

"Axel's not there he's at the grill. Yes we'll wait where you left us."

A couple of minutes passed before Riku arrived.

"Alright let's go, tonight is Axel's last meal. He better enjoy it."


	5. Zexion

**Disclaimer: WE DO NOT OWN KH.**

**THIS CHAPTER IS DEDICATED TO SONY NINJA I AM SO SORRY ITS SHORT BUT I HAVE WRITERS BLOCK AND WHAT LITTLE I CAN GIVE YOU WAS REALLY INSPIRED BY YOU (btw thanks for your messages it made our day).**

**On a side note I will like to thank the people that story alerted us, we appreciate it but we can't handle the lack of feedback. **

* * *

Zexion's POV

(this story is in Hiatus until we have reviews)

"Hey Zexy, Zexy? Hey, hey, Zexy, Zexy I am bored," another poke, "Zexy, I have a question, Zexy? Hello? Zexy?"

"WHAT! WHAT COULD YOU POSSIBLY WANT DEMYX!" I shouted. For the past half an hour we have all been waiting for Axel to appear at the Coliseum Sports Grill and between Demyx and Rikku (GOD DAMN PROFESSOR VEXEN! That man is a genius but why didn't he clone someone who wasn't such a douche!)

"I was just gunna see if you wanted some of my fries, sorry if I am bugging you I could just leave," Demyx stated looking all teary eyed. Shit.

"I am sure he didn't mean it like that Demyx," the new girl, Naminé said. I bit my lip to stop myself from correcting her, especially when Roxas was sending me warning looks.

"Yeah Demyx, shorty there wasn't mad at you, he was really mad at his parents for not passing on the tall people gene. Seriously kid how old are you, 7?" Rikku stated.

"THAT'S IT!" I stood up, knocking my chair over. I was about to tackle Rikku, but I felt that someone was holding me back. SO CLOSE!

"Down boy," Saix whispered (apperantly he was holding me back…ew) "wouldn't want people to tell me that I beat you on the dean's list because you went to jail for murder."

"I am sure you sleeping with the dean has nothing to do with it!" I shouted back.

"Now you listen here you bean sprout! We all know that those rumors aren't true, its some sick twisted fan girl fantasy! I mean honestly the dean? The dude is so happy I am sure he eats baby unicorns for breakfast and breaths out rainbows throughout the day!" Saix shouted back.

"Yeah yea, besides its not murder if he isn't suppose to exist!" I shouted, "I need air!"

I pulled myself away from Saix's grasp and walked out of the Sports Grill. I let out a sigh before letting my eyes scan the area. It was pretty dead for a Wednesday afternoon, usually it's packed. There were a few people scattered here and there in the shopping centers around the Grill and it didn't take too long for me to spot a red headed man acting like a total idiot. Helloooo Axel.

"Larxene, come on one movie! I swear nothing big, we can even watch a chick flic!" I heard Axel beg.

"A chick flic? If that's what your into I guess you can take yourself, I am more into the dark, horrifying, gut scattering AWESOMNESS!" Larxene stated, "besides I have plans with Marluxia today, we're going out to the beach for a picnic under the stars then a movie, jealous?"

"Yes," Axel whispered.

"Bet you are, don't worry I'll let you hang out with Marluxia some other time so you two can get better acquainted," she teased before turning away from him and walking away. I could practically hear the screeches of the gears in Axel's head turning.

"Wait why would I want to get to know Marluxia?" Axel shouted after her, but she just ignored it. Deciding that I should get my chance to kick a good man when he's down I headed towards him.

"Rough day Axel?" I asked.

"You could say that, though I think a rough life would be more accurate. My room mate leaves me, I can't find Demyx so I had nothing to hit, Saix transferred out of my biology class and won't let me use his book, and then on top of that Larxene won't stop playing hard to get."

"Axel I think there is a difference between hard to get and not wanting any of you," I whispered.

"What was that Zex?" he asked.

"Oh, no nothing, just wondering if anyone has informed you about Roxas'…strange behavior lately," I said with as much apathy as I could.

"Strange behavior? Is Roxy okay?"

"Did you just call him Roxy? You know what don't answer that. You haven't noticed? I think he's replacing you as his best friend Axel. I mean he walked into bio class cradling a girl in his arms. You know, come to think of it he didn't even have bio and he sat through the whole class just to talk to his new friend. I think they are in the Coliseum Sports Grill right now talking about best friend things too. You guys never did that did you?"

He just squirmed and muttered things about harpies clawing into other people's best friends. I am pretty sure I heard him utter the words serpent headed girlies a few times too. Someone should really teach this kid the proper use of the English language.

"You know Axel almost all of us are hanging out with Naminé. Even Saix and Riku are there too. Saix and Naminé, they are sharing fries, I think she's also sharing a milkshake with Roxas. Hell last time I saw them Riku was braiding her hair, because that's what friends do for one another don't they Axel?" I stated, I can barely say all this with a straight face.

"She has Saix and Riku too? Wait a minute he's braiding her hair? That's kind of…you know what never mind I don't want to know WHY he is braiding her hair its not even the point!" He responded.

"You know Axel, you should come in and join us. We won't be here for too long, I mean we do have other plans. I am going to go see a movie later with Saix and Demyx," I said, oh man not even I believe that!

"But you hate those two!"

"Yeah well the girl got us to understand each other, we're like best friends now."

"Okay that's it, come on shorty we are going in there and getting my friends back for me!" Axel stated.

"How about I stay out here and when I hear your screams for mercy I go back to the dorms and we forget we had this conversation?" I muttered to myself.

"What was that Zexy?"

"I was saying that's mean to leave the plants thirsty. I'll go water them out here you go in there!" Good save Zexion, this has to be the WORST LIE EVER! Wait did that even make sense?

"Did that even make sense? Zexy you're losing it grammar wise, don't let Saix know, got it memorized?" he teased.

I just nodded, not trusting myself to give away the fact that Riku had spotted us from inside the Sports Grill and was now waiting by the door to beat him over the head with a booster seat (serves him right for the shorty comment). I stared after Axel and as soon as the door opened ajar, Axel was smacked over the head with the booster seat.

"What did Axel do this time?" came a voice from behind me.

"Lexaeus," I stated turning to face him (he just nodded at the recognition) "you know I don't really know. We sort of convinced Riku that Vexen had cloned him because Axel had given him the DNA."

"But wasn't it Luxord the math teacher?" Lexeaus asked. I merely grinned.

"I would go stop them if I were you Lexeaus, I wouldn't want you to be known as the lazy cop who let that random kid die."

Lexaeus nodded at me and ran towards the Sports Grill. Oh life was so fair.

* * *

**iPercy's CORNER OF DOOM!: So me and Nikita-chan6 (yeah its not proper grammar bite me Xp) have come up with the 2 main rules of yaoi: 1) if they are males and they are friends they have to be boning. 2) if they are enemies then its secretly sexual frustration…WE DON'T GET FAN GIRLS! **


	6. Dave

**DISCLAIMER: WE DO NOT OWN KINGDOM HEARTS! Alright guys you win, we will continue our fanfic because we had reviews pouring in, so keep it up and we will do our best to keep this story interesting. You guys rock I, Nikita-chan6 love you! XD I wrote this chapter btw, enjoy!**

**P.O.V: Rikku…Dave?**

When Axel stepped into the grill Riku bashed him over the head with a booster seat. I literally fell out of my chair laughing.

"Get up Axel!" Riku was yelling.

"What the hell man!" Axel shouted back.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Riku said punching Axel in the stomach. Axel went flying and nearly crashed into Naminé but Roxas managed to grab her and pull her out of the way.

Axel struggled to get up until Riku walked over and helped him out by pulling him up by the collar.

"What the hell has gotten into you Riku!"

"I asked you first!" Riku spat. "Now if you don't want to end up in a body bag you better explain this!" he said shoving Axel in my face.

I grinned. "What up bro?"

Axel blinked. "Why is there another, younger you?"

A vein in Riku's neck began to throb. _Damn he's pissed._ I thought.

"Wrong answer!" he yelled flinging Axel across the room. As I watched him walk over to the stunned Axel a hand clamped down on my shoulder.

"That's enough Riku," said a deep voice. I turned to see a very large red headed man in a police uniform standing behind me.

He stared back at me his eyes widening slightly.

"I ain't Riku, at least not the one you want. Name's Rikku, R-I-K-K-U," I explained. I pointed to where Riku was, currently sitting on top of Axel and pounding the snot out of him. _Poor guy I _almost_ feel bad for him, almost._

"Riku!" yelled the burly cop running over to them. He managed to drag Riku off of Axel. Riku began flailing as he struggled to free himself.

"Let me go Lexaeus!" he cried.

"You know I can't, it's for Axel's safety."

"Arrrgh!" Riku screamed.

"Calm down Riku!" Kairi begged.

"Keep it up and you will be spending the night in a cell." Lexaeus threatened.

"Riku he isn't worth it," Sora pleaded.

Riku stopped struggling and looked at the two of them. "I guess you guys are right."

I frowned. _Aw, hell no._ I jumped in front of Riku.

"Yeah he ain't worth it; I mean all he did was give the Doc your DNA without your consent. No biggie."

Riku's face contorted in anger. "AXEL!" he bellowed and began to struggle again.

"Why did you go and do that for?" Roxas asked angrily.

"For the laughs. It's fun watching Riku pummel the wrong guy."

"The wrong guy? What do you mean?" Naminé asked.

"Exactly what I said sugar tits; Axel ain't the one who gave Doc Riku's DNA."

"Then who was it!" Riku cried angrily.

"I ain't tellin'," I said crossing my arms.

"I'm going to KILL YOU!" Riku broke free and tackled me.

We fell to the floor.

"As if you could kill me!" I laughed, then Riku punched me in the face, hard.

"BRO! That hurt!"

"I meant it to," Riku growled. He pulled his arm back to land another punch when Lexaeus walked over and lifted him up.

"Stop it Riku," He said calmly. Riku glared at me.

"Fine, but I will find out who gave him my DNA."

"Really?" Lexaeus asked. "You'll stop now."

"Yes I promise to be a good little boy like Sora," he sneered.

Sora pouted and Kairi gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"I'll behave I promise." Riku sighed.

Lexaeus nodded and set him down. Riku walked over to the table we were all sharing and sat down.

"Let's eat," he said gruffly. Sora and Kairi took their seats across from him and Lexaeus left after a few minutes.

_Are you serious! _"You're all going to pretend like Riku never attacked us?" I was stunned. Then Axel stood and ambled over to the table and sat across from Riku.

I could only stare. I shrugged and sat down next to bean sprout. He glared at me.

"Get away from me," he hissed.

I pouted. "Come on sprout, you know you don't mean it."

"I'll kill you," He growled; I backed off. I walked over to Roxas and Naminé and squeezed in between them.

"Pardon me Roxy," I said.

Naminé looked worriedly at Roxas.

I smiled. "Chill babe, I ain't going hurt ya."

She tried to smile but it faltered. "I'm not worried about that."

I laughed. "Oh you like Roxas! Did I interrupt your flirting? Why waste your time with squid here?"

"Squid!" Roxas yelped.

I snickered. "Yeah because you're spineless."

"I would beg to differ," he began when I cut him off.

"You don't have the balls to do this." I ended my sentence with a kiss. I pulled Naminé towards me and pressed my lips to hers. I felt her struggle; I had trouble sneaking in some tongue. Finally she slapped me as Roxas pulled me off.

Naminé's blue eyes narrowed as she glared at me.

I smiled at her. "Feisty, I like that," I licked my lips. "We're not done yet sweetheart."

Roxas tossed me to the side. "You disgust me. You had better stay away from her." He sat down, closer to Naminé this time.

"We have some room over here," someone called to me. I looked to the end of the table to see some guy waving at me. I walked over to who I vaguely remember as Seifer and his girlfriend Olette. She was cute but I heard that Seifer was a real hard ass and would kill anyone who got near his girl. I respected that.

"Seifer," Olette said cautiously. "Are you sure?"

"Baby, it's alright, I'm here." He turned to her with eyes that were filled with affection. She seemed to ease up a bit.

"Okay." She gave him a smile as he leaned in for a quick kiss.

"Yo, if this is going to turn into a snogfest, I'm out," I said jerking my thumb at the door.

"Sorry man," Seifer said with a smile. "Have a seat." He motioned to the empty seat beside him. I sat and looked at the people around me.

A guy named Hayner sat across from me. Xion, a dark haired plain creature, sat beside Olette, a not as plain cutie, and on Hayner's right was a fat ass named Pence. As I glanced down the table I could see Roxas sitting beside Pence with Naminé beside him.

I flashed Naminé a devilish smile, she glared, and Roxas turned in his seat so he could block me from view. I pouted and grabbed a fry off of Hayner's plate and threw it at him. He turned and glared at me.

"Hey squid keep it up and your face will stay that way and Naminé will have to love me."

"Fat chance," Roxas spat.

"DEMI!" the door to the grill burst open and a young blonde came bouncing in. Demyx jumped up from his seat beside sprout.

"RIKKU!"

Zexion fell out of his chair as I sprang out of mine. "For the love of GOD, not another one!"

Everyone, save Demyx and his mystery girl stared at me.

"What the fuck is your problem?" Riku asked.

"Well pops, can I call you pops?"

"Can I kill you?"

"No pops. Doesn't it bother you that there are three Rikus?"

He shrugged and turned away from me.

I stuck my tongue out at him then turned to the two blondes.

"Hey sweetheart how do you spell your name?"

"R-I-K-K-U," she said brightly.

"Damn it all to hell! I have a chick's name. I'm tired of this bullshit," I held my hands up.

"From now I shall be known as Dave, Dave I shall be, Dave and nothing else."

Everyone ignored me and turned to Zexion. Kairi was kneeling beside him with his head in her lap. Olette was holding a napkin to his nose, and everyone else was standing around him except Demyx who was holding hands with Rikku and jumping up and down.

_Homo, _I thought.

"Hello!" I called out standing on the table, towering over everyone.

"The sprout ain't bleeding out, he'll be fine. Pay attention to me!" I whined.

"The world doesn't revolve around you _Dave,_" Roxas said with vehemence.

I smiled. "Naminé's world does."

"She doesn't like you asshole." Roxas growled.

I chose to ignore him then and concentrate on Zexion.

"Hey sprout get up, you're stealing all my attention."

Zexion brushed Kairi and Olette away and stood up. He wiped his face with a napkin to rid himself of any remnants of blood.

"Hello Rikku," He said addressing the bubbly blonde.

"Hey Zex..!" She said as Demyx pulled his t-shirt over her head; luckily he had layered his clothing so he now stood in a long sleeved striped shirt.

"Put on a shirt," He demanded. She yanked the shirt off revealing the bright yellow bikini top she was wearing.

"Look, I'm not naked. I'm wearing clothes, it covers what it needs to," she answered.

"It's not enough!" he cried trying to put the shirt on her again. She grabbed his wrists and was struggling to stop him.

Zexion cleared his throat. "I think she is right Demyx. She is not revealing anything inappropriate."

Demyx stared at him and she pushed him away from her and smiled at the bean sprout.

"Thanks Zexy."

I jumped off the table to land in front of Zexion, so I could get a better look at this girl.

I was not disappointed. Besides the bright yellow bikini top she wore olive short shorts, a red and yellow scarf, and some pale yellow sleeves. She also had long blonde hair tied back by a blue bandana and a bunch of braids spilling over said bandana.

I grinned. "Hey sweet thing, the name's Dave, previously Rikku, how d'you like to get to know me?"

She punched me in the gut. "Do I look like a four dollar whore?"

"Actually yes," I replied. She answered by kicking me while I was down.

"Jerk."

Axel walked over then and draped an arm around sprout's shoulders.

"Hey the name's Axel, got it memorized?"

She smiled. "Nice to meet you, I'm Rikku."

"Say Rikku how do you know Demyx?" he asked.

She blinked. "He's my older brother." Zexion fell over, I laughed.

"Well I think I'll concentrate on Naminé. I don't want to deal with that moron."

"That's okay you're not my type," Rikku sniffed. I shrugged.

"Your loss darlin'."

Rikku joined us at the table beside Kairi and across from Demyx. She chatted amiably to her older brother and childhood friend, (or so she says) Zexion. I managed to trade places with Xion who all too pleased to sit across from Hayner. They seemed to have chemistry.

As I took my seat across from Naminé, I was already contemplating a game of footsie, when I saw Roxas switch places with her. I glared at his blonde mug.

"What the hell, bro?"

His hands clenched into fists. "I'm not your _bro_," he said it with disdain.

I smirked. "No? And here I was thinking we were going to the best of friends."

He turned his attention to Naminé. I decided to annoy Saix.

"If you even look at me," he threatened, "I will slit your throat."

I backed off. "Trade places with me then, you won't have to sit across from Axel."

His eyes never left the book he had opened on his lap. "No because then you will be beside Riku, and I don't think he'd like that."

"Why would you care?"

He actually looked at me then, and I really wished he hadn't because it scared the crap out of me.

"I do not want to be the one to dispose of your body," he deadpanned.

I stared at him and I was pretty sure that my soul just died.

"Ooookay, well I'm just going to go over here." I ran over to sit at the head of the table in between Demyx and Rikku.

Rikku turned to me.

"Can we help you?"

"You can, but not in public." I winked at her.

"I thought you weren't chasing after me?"

"Friends with benefits are what I'm chasing. I've got needs that you can potentially fulfill."

"You're disgusting," she said.

"She's only sixteen asshole," Kairi piped up.

"I'm only fifteen, and this offer extends to you too."

Sora glared at me. "Hey watch it, jerk."

I grinned. "Or what? You'll hit me? You seem to have about as much backbone as squid over there."

Roxas jumped up. "Shut your damn mouth!" he yelled.

I ignored him and continued talking to Sora.

"You have no courage at all," I chuckled. "I bet you're still a virgin."

"Kairi and I have sex all the time!" he screamed.

Everyone turned to him, Kairi's face turned red and she sank down in her seat, Sora blushed as well.

I laughed. "Well alright at least one of you is getting some action."

"Larxene!" Axel then cried out. I looked over at him.

"Huh?"

Axel then placed his head on the table and began to sob. I got up and squeezed in between Naminé and Axel.

"What's up buddy? Girl troubles?" I asked sympathetically.

He sniffed and looked up at me. "Larxene refuses to go out with me," he whined.

"Let me give you some advice," I began when Riku interrupted me.

"Sora, Kairi, was I really that vexatious?"

Sora and Kairi remained quite and I addressed Axel again. "Listen up chump, to train a girl to like you, you will need a six-foot lead and some small dog treats. Gently pat the girl's rear while you say, love me. As the girl loves you, reward her with a treat. Walk the girl a few feet and repeat the command while gently pressing down on the rear."

Everyone stared at me.

"What the hell is wrong with you!" Hayner cried out.

"Have you gone mental?" Riku asked seriously.

I blinked. "Isn't that how you all get laid?"

"NO!" they all shouted in unison.

"You don't seem to understand women at all." Naminé said angrily.

"Axel, if you want help winning Larxene over come to me, don't listen to this prick." Riku said looking at the red head.

"Well it is nearing eleven and I have an early class tomorrow. Good night everyone." Saix stood up to leave.

Zexion nodded. "He's right, and Rikku don't you have school?"

She sighed. "Yeah, but it's only high school, and it's not nearly as fun without you. Why'd you have to be in such a hurry, you should be a sophomore with me?"

"Well you see," he began but I noticed his eyes making their way down her face, pass her neck, straight to her jugs. "Um I wanted to stay abreast, I mean ahead of everyone. So I chest, I mean chose, to advance my schooling, gah!" he fell over with yet another nosebleed. I laughed as Olette once again wiped the blood.

"Zexion's right," Demyx added, "You need to go home."

"Fine, give me a ride?"

"I'll take the train with you," he said.

"I think I'll head out too. Come on Roxas, I'll help you carry your drunk roommate to your dorm," Riku said.

Before I knew it everyone was leaving.

"Hey wait guys, where am I supposed to go?" I whined.

"I was living with the Doc, until Riku blew a gasket and kidnapped me."

No one answered me, so I decided to follow them.

* * *

I followed Riku all the way to his single dorm.

"Nice place you've got," I said admiring the room.

"Get out," he growled.

I pouted. "But I have no where to go."

"Not my problem," he answered curtly.

I gave him my best sad puppy dog eyes. "Please?"

"No."

I smiled wickedly. "Well, sorry bro."

I lunged at him and pinned him down on the floor.

"Get the fuck off of me!" he bellowed.

I managed to grab one of his shirts off of his desk and gagged him. Then I somehow hoisted him up and threw him out of the room.

"Sorry Cap'n but I'm going to commandeer this here room." I shut the door and locked it.

I stretched and walked towards the bed, _time to relax._

* * *

**Change of view: Riku**

"Stupid little fuck! How dare he kick me out! It's my own damn room. Stupid mother fucker!" I mumbled angrily to myself f as I stormed down the hallway of the dormitory. I stopped in front of Axel and Roxas' room and took a deep breath.

I threw the door open and stepped in Roxas shot out of his bed and Axel sat up in drunken stupor.

"Sorry Axel but you are going to have to relocate. Drunk or not get the fuck out."

Axel swayed drunkenly and opened his mouth to speak. At that point I seized him and tossed him out of the room and slammed the door shut.

Inside I turned to Roxas.

"Alright, until we find a place for Dave, you have a new roommate."

Roxas began to tear up. _Is he crying because I kicked Axel out?_

"Thank you Riku!" he cried joyfully. "Finally I get a sane roommate!"

"Yeah, whatever. Let's get some sleep." I crawled into Axel's bed and fell right to sleep.

* * *

**Change of view: Axel**

"Please Saix! Just open the door!" I hiccupped.

No sound came from the young man's room.

"I promise snot to spurn things!" I slurred.

Silence.

"SAAAAAIIIIXXXXX!" I knew he hated when I drew out his name like that.

"No," Saix answered.

I was getting to him.

"Please, Riku kicked me out and I is shleepy and I need a place to crash for the night."

_Damn all that beer, _I thought to myself.

Finally the door swung open and Saix stood before me. He looked down at me.

"Why are you on the floor?"

"It's soft like a cloud!" I giggled. He sighed and grabbed the collar of my shirt.

"Just for tonight," he stated dragging me into his room, but he must have felt bad about it because he didn't throw me on the bed.

"Thank you," I mumbled sleepily as he laid me gently on his bed.

"You are going to have a terrible hangover."

I nodded, already drifting off to sleep.

"Where will you sleep?" I managed to ask.

"The couch."

"M'kay," I smiled, "Good night Saix." With that I fell into a deep sleep.


	7. Cloud

**Disclaimer: WE DO NOT OWN ANYTHING! Also this is NOT A YAOI! Alright guys here is the seventh installation brought to you by iPercy. Y'all will have to wait for my chapter 8 cos I am on vacation, sorry :)**

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* * *

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Cloud's POV

"Wake up loser, you have a problem," Leon said calmly as he pushed me off my bed. The pros and cons of having him as my roommate!

"Wait a minute, did you actually just talk to me?" I asked rubbing my eyes in an attempt to get them to focus.

"…"

"Ha ha very funny Leon! Now what's that problem you were talking about?"

"…"

"LEON!"

"Tifa just rescheduled your date with her for 2pm. That's when you have your date with Aerith."

"So?"

"So Romeo, I don't think you want to show up to meet BOTH your girlfriends. What are you planning to finally introduce them to each other and let them know you've been cheating on both of them?"

"No…?" I don't get it.

"Exactly"

"Oh crap! Hey Leon how would you like me to do your next paper?"

"…"

"HELP ME!" I pleaded.

"…"

"Fine then! I'll ask Marluxia for help, pinky hasn't let me down yet," I said.

"Yeah that's because pinky thinks you look cute with that rain cloud over your head."

"Are you calling me emo? I will have you know that you put the cut in emo," I argued.

"Obviously you don't know how to spell emo, unless its ecmuot and the c-u-t are silent then what you just said made no sense. Now go whine to someone else I have class in 20 minutes," Leon stated grabbing his bag and tossing it onto his shoulder before walking out the door.

"Pansy," I whispered.

I walked over to our desktop computer, only to find Leon's email was already opened to an email from our lil Roxas. Not able to resist the temptation (and not willing to find a way to deal with my girlfriend problems) I did what any normal human being would do…I read it. Skimming through the message all I could gather was: I met a girl…Dave is a douche (who the fuck is Dave?)…kick Cloud's ass for me…how's the missus…Sora is here (that POOR POOR soul)…Cloud stop reading Leon's emails.

"How the hell did that kid know I would read Leon's email!" I shouted.

"Because you always do. I forgot my book. By the way Blondie wants you to call him," Leon stated as he walked into the room picked up the book "Later!" and left. _How does he make that look so cool?_

Having put it off for five minutes after Leon left (the wonders of facebooking) I pulled my cell phone out and began to call Blondie.

"WHAT!" Roxas shouted on the other line.

"Geez, calm your shorts blondie. You wanted me to call you?" I asked.

"Oh, Cloud, I thought you were _HIM_ again."

"Him?"

"YES! _Him_!"

"Roxas, I love you and all but I think you've lost it!" I stated.

"Sorry give me a minute to calm down—Axel I told you to lock the door!"

"I tried Roxas but he's strong for a baby," I heard from the other end of the line.

"I AIN'T NO DAMN BABY!" came another voice, just how many people are there with Roxas?

"Roxas?"

"I WILL KILL YOU!" that's the last thing I heard before some shouting, cussing, and pounding.

"Riiiiight," I whispered into the phone before hanging up.

I threw the cell onto my bed, and then reached into my pocket for a quarter. Heads I cancel on girlfriend number 1, tails I cancel on girlfriend number 2. I flipped the coin just in time to hear my ringtone go off. I automatically went for the phone letting the coin hit the ground with a soft thud sound. Great.

"What?" I called into the phone.

"Sorry about before. It's Roxas, I need a favor."

"Well Roxy sorry but I am booked today."

"If you don't help me I will tell girlfriend number 2 that you beat little children!"

"YOU WOULDN'T DARE!"

"Wanna bet? I can even get witnesses and you know if I get Sora involved in the whole crying thing I will win."

"Fine, what the hell do you want?"

"Get your ass to the Dean's office. You'll know what I need you to do. DAMN IT AXEL I TIED HIM DOWN FOR A REASON!" Roxas shouted.

"Fine, what ever midget," I muttered hanging up and pocketing my cell phone.

I looked down at the quarter on the floor, congratulations girlfriend number 1. I pulled out my cell.

"Hello?" I heard my girlfriend two's voice on the other side.

"Listen, babe, my friend Roxas is in trouble and he needs me. I am sorry to be doing this, but I can't make it to our date tonight."

* * *

**AT THE DEAN'S**

"That midget better be thankful I don't have Tuesday classes or I'd have to skin him!" I muttered as I pushed the door to the Dean's office opened to find Riku shouting at Professor Vexen (still nuts as I remember apparently) and at…is that Riku? Okay back up, what?

"Um, Dean Xemnas?" I said as I let the scene before me sink in.

"Oh! Thank God that boy, Roxas sent you didn't he Cloud? Good, well you can be my scapegoat! Until this issue is settled I am giving custody of "Dave" to Cloud here," Xemnas stated wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me against him. _waaaaaaay too close._

"WHAT! You can't do that! He's my clone! Taken from MY DNA! I want him DESTROYED!" Riku shouted.

"You will not touch a single hair on poor little Dave's body!" Vexen shouted at Riku.

"Wait who the fuck is Dave? Why do I get him?" I asked Xemnas trying to pry his arms from around me.

"Oh Dave is little Riku over there. Didn't Roxas fill you in? He told me that you had volunteered to take care of little Dave over there. He brought the poor kid here tied up. It appears Dave has a problem making friends," Xemnas said with a pout.

"Well Blondie didn't say anything to me about no kid. I have a date today and I have to get going," I stated grabbing for the doorframe.

"That's great Cloud," Xemnas shouted over the fighting "you can take Dave with you that way the poor dear can see someone other than the hormonal college kids. Such a sweetie. Here!"

With that Xemnas picked up Dave and threw him at me. I barely caught the thing…I mean kid. If it wasn't for my automatic response I woulda dropped him.

"Fine! But you better tell professor Xaldin to lay off my case about my paper!" I shouted back "come on kid we're going to the urban zoo, high school."

"Here is an idea, you put me down and we go get some hot babes," Dave stated with a smirk.

"Not on your life kid let's go," I said shutting the door to the arguing _parents._

_

* * *

_

**Highschool!**

"I hate school!" Dave stated.

"Yeah join the club midget. Oh, high school, the center of all that is wrong with the world," I announced "Plus you've never really been in school so I don't understand how you could possibly hate something you've never experienced."

"Would you eat a cat?" he asked.

"No that's just gross!" I stated.

"Have you tried it?" He asked as he smirked.

"Smartass," I muttered walking to the principle's office.

I was almost there when I noticed that Dave wasn't following. THAT BRAT I AM ON A SCHEDULE! I was retracing my steps in an attempt to find him, and of course the little brat would be macking it with some half naked teenage girl.

"So you work nights?" the little shit said.

"Yup, It's all part of being a ninja," the girl answered then giggled.

"So you role play too? I am in heaven" said the kid.

"I don't follow, I am a ninja," the girl sounded confused.

"Sure you are sweetie, how much a night?" he asked. Was he calling her a hooker?

"But I am, I am the great ninja Yuffie,"

"Are you for real? With clothes that subtle you might as well announce your prostitution to the world!" Dave shouted. I am taking that as my cue to stop him from getting himself killed.

"Please excuse my charge young lady, he's new at this whole hormonal imbalance thing," I said as I pulled Dave behind me.

"Really Cloud? Her clothing doesn't shout prostitute to you?" THIS KID NEEDS TO STOP TALKING! I can't defend him against women.

"And he's retarded!" I added "Come along dumbass we can do this whole high school thing some other time."

"LET ME GO! I wanna stay here, there are so many sluts!"

"I am late for my date so I guess your coming with me. Here are the rules for hanging with me right now: Shut The Fuck Up, don't talk to her, and Shut The Fuck Up!

* * *

**The Date**

It didn't take us long to get to that awesome seafood place, Atlantica. It took even less time to go through my date.

"Cloud," Tifa said taking my hands in hers "I am breaking up with you."

"What! Why?" I shouted, ignoring Dave's outburst of laughter.

"Well I met this person and we are thinking of giving it a try," Tifa muttered as she blushed. My jaw dropped. WTF! I am good looking; I am smart, who could be better than me. Leon had a girl, Pinky…well no; it can't be a professor…WHAT GIVES!

"You're dumping me! Really!"

"Sorry Cloud, it's just your not man enough for me," Tifa stated looking out the window. I will not make a scene, I will not make a scene, I will not…FUCK IT.

"WHY! You can't do this to me!"

"See that's exactly what I meant, I found someone who can actually keep up with me and is, well, manlier than you," She said.

"WHO!" I shouted causing everyone to turn to us. Great I am making a scene.

"Payne…"

"LIKE THE GIRL! Are you telling me a girl is manlier than me?" I shouted.

"We'll she sure as hell isn't the one making a scene," Dave added in.

"Dave, shut it!"

"Wow, first you're a woman and now you're a child hater. No wonder this girl doesn't like you. Wait a minute…You turned her gay! Priceless!" Dave stated breaking out in laughter again.

"Don't get me wrong Cloud, I like you, but not like that. Not anymore. Well glad we had this talk…bye now!" Tifa stated as she ran out. I extended my hand towards her and let my mouth open to scream at her to stay when I realized I AM NOT A TEENAGE GIRL!

"Great," I muttered crossing my arms over my chest and looking out the window.

"Has anyone ever told you that you're as emo as they come?" Dave asked taking Tifa's seat.

"Shove it!" I muttered.

"Hey Cloud! I haven't seen you around here for a while. Had a date with Tifa?" said a voice beside us, both Dave and I turned to the voice to find Rinoa (Leon's girlfriend).

At her question though Dave began laughing anew. I AM NOT AFRAID TO STAB A KID AND I AM SO TEMPTED TO DO IT NOW!

"Had a date, past tense. Yeah I did, before she broke up with me and ran," I muttered.

"AND HE TURNED HER GAY!" Dave added in.

"You turned her gay?" Rinoa asked taking a seat next to me. I turned to her with a pout then began to cry on her shoulder.

"SHE SAID I WASN'T MAN ENOUGH FOR HER!" I said between sobs…so much for not being a teenage girl.

"There, there sweetie, it can't be that bad. Um… hang on let me," Rinoa whispered as she began to run a hand soothingly on my back and dug into her purse with the other. She grabbed her cell phone and began to dial a number, "Squall, we have a problem. Yes I just called you Squall and not Leon deal with it. No I am not pregnant! Yes I have your ring in my purse; no Sora isn't visiting our side of campus. Okay, Love, please stop guessing, you're terrible at it, your room mate is crying on my shoulder because his girlfriend said he wasn't a man. He is not a pansy he's just sensitive!"

Great!


	8. Leon

**Nikita-chan6 note: Alright first things first I AM SO SOOOORRRRYYYY guys! I am so sorry I took so long, first off I went on an Alaskan cruise and I was gone for about 2 weeks (it was really nice if anyone has the chance and funds I definitely recommend it), and now I have lost internet but I have found a way to bring you this chapter. Second we DO NOT own KH nor is it a yaoi, sorry fangirls. Hope you all enjoy this chapter sorry for the wait and thank you for being so patient. I, Nikita-chan6, wrote this chapter from Leon's (Squall's) P.O.V.**

**Leon's pov**

I sat and stared at the crying mess that was, unfortunately, my roommate**. **He turned his girlfriend, Tifa, into a lesbian and she left him.

"Say_ something."_ My girlfriend, Rinoa, hissed under her breath.

"There, there Cloud. Don't cry." I deadpanned.

Rinoa elbowed me in the side.

"Dammit Rinoa!" I whisper yelled.

"_**COMFORT HIM**_!" she ordered.

I sighed. "Cloud quit being a girl. So Tifa left you, big deal I could tell that chick was a dike from a mile away. You still have Aerith, so be happy about that."

"I turned her GAY!" he wailed. There was muffled laughter from the corner of the room. I turned to look at Dave, who I tied and gagged.

"Shut it scrub." I growled. He glared at me and I glared back, rethinking his situation he looked away. I turned back to Cloud.

"Listen I'm only going to say this once, Tifa isn't worth all this crying. If she can't see what a great man you are then it's her loss especially if she had to find solace in another woman. Forget about her. You still have Aerith who loves you." _Inexplicably._

Cloud sniffled and looked up at me. "You really think so?"

I nodded. He smiled.

"Yes, even if I told her several times to leave you."

"You what!" Cloud began to cry again.

"Squall!" Rinoa yelled as she walked over to Cloud and put her arms around him.

"It's alright Cloud, he's lying. Aerith loves you and Tifa doesn't deserve you, you deserve someone better." She gave him a squeeze then glared at me.

I shrugged. "You're a great guy Cloud?"

His tears disappeared and he smiled up at me. I rolled my eyes, stood up and grabbed Dave.

"What do I do with this?"

Cloud sniffed. "I was supposed to enroll him in high school, but I didn't."

I sighed. "I'm taking him to the dean, Cloud do not call Tifa or chase after her under any circumstances, she is beneath you." Then I turned and walked out of the dorm room.

I dragged Dave's sorry ass all the way to the dean's and when I walked in I saw Riku and professor Vexen yelling at the dean who was cowering behind his desk.

I cleared my throat but no one looked at me.

"Excuse me," I said, but still no one looked.

"What the hell is going on!" I roared. Everyone froze and looked over at me.

"Leon!" the dean brightened and ran over to me, but stopped when he saw Dave.

"Oh my, what is Dave doing here, and all tied up? Didn't Cloud enroll him in school?"

"No," I replied.

Dean Xemnas frowned. "Well I will just have to give temporary custody of Dave to you Leon. Will you be a dear and take him to school?"

I sighed. "Yes dean Xemnas."

"Wonderful!" he clapped his hands together. "Now run off poor Dave shouldn't see this."

I nodded and as I closed the door behind me I could hear Riku yelling.

"Give me custody! He's my fucking CLONE!" then the door slammed shut behind me.

Without saying a word to Dave I dragged him to my car ignoring his muffled protests. When we reached my brand new black Porsche Spyder he stopped making noise.

I untied him, not because I was concerned by his silence but because I did not want to be pulled over by a cop because I have a young boy bound and gagged in the backseat.

"Holy crow! Is this you car!" he yelled, his mouth hanging open.

"Yes."

"Damn it's better than Cloud's shitty pickup. I think I found my new daddy!"

"…. Get in the fucking car," I barked.

He nodded and eagerly jumped in. I rolled my eyes and slipped into the driver's seat.

I pulled out of the parking garage and drove as fast as the law would allow me to, to the high school.

We got out of the car and walked into the building, I was aware of Dave walking behind me.

When I reached the main office I turned around to find that Dave had run off somewhere.

"….." I walked into the office.

The pretty blonde secretary smiled at me.

"Hi welcome to Twilight Town Senior High School."

I nodded. "I want to enroll my charge into your school."

Her big blue eyes conveyed confusion.

"Do you mean your brother?"

"No, my charge. I am not related to him in any way but I was given temporary custody and decided to enroll him in school."

"Oh. Alright well first off what is his name?"

"I believe he answers to Dave."

"Alright Dave what?"

"Excuse me?" It was my turn to be confused.

"What is his last name?"

I thought about it. "Vexen." _Professor Vexen did birth him after all._

"How do you spell that?"

"V-E-X-E-N," I replied.

"Is that your last name too?"

"I told you we are not related. My name is Leon Leonhart."

She smiled sweetly. "My name is Brandy Jones."

I nodded.

* * *

I finished answering all her questions and all the paperwork.

"Alright, Dave is enrolled. He can start today if you like or wait for his official first day tomorrow."

I nodded and turned to leave.

"Hey Leon?"

I turned back to Brandy.

"I was wondering if you'd like to get coffee sometime?"

I smiled, something I do very rarely, and she blushed.

"Sorry but I'm spoken for."

She cast her eyes downward. "Oh, well, sorry to bother you."

"How old are you Brandy? If you don't mind me asking."

She shook her head. "Not at all, I'm 20."

I nodded. "I have a friend, Dave's older brother, he's 21. You'd like him."

She cheered up. "Does he go to the local university?"

"Oblivion, yeah. His name is Riku, meet me at the Coliseum grill tonight at six and I'll introduce you."

She smiled. "Is he good looking."

"If you thought I was good looking then he will be godly."

She blushed. "Why are you telling me this?"

"Because you are obviously so desperate that you shamelessly flirted with some strange guy who walked in to enroll a kid in school. You could have shamelessly flirted with some strange guy at a bar at least."

She blushed and glared at me. "I take it that you are a blunt guy who speaks his mind?"

"Most of the time."

She nodded. "Alright. Tonight at six."

"Tonight at six," I confirmed. I left the office and went to find Dave. It wasn't hard.

"Come on babe, you look like a hooker. How can I not ask for your going rate?" his annoying voice echoed from underneath the main stairwell.

I followed his voice and found him talking to two young girls. One of them had short black hair, a black tube top that revealed all of her stomach, short shorts, knee high socks, and boots. The other had long blonde hair, a yellow bikini top and very short shorts.

"She is not a hooker!" the blonde yelled.

"Well how about you? Demyx ain't around, so you don't have to play the role of the good little sister. I'm looking to get laid, what do you say?"

"Bite me."

"Leave Rikku alone you perv!" the dark haired girl cried.

"Well Yuffie, if you ain't a whore than Rikku definitely is."

I debated on whether or not to stop him. I voted against it.

"Shut up! I will seriously hurt you!"

"I need to get laid, seriously! I want one of you hotties to jump in the sack with me. Unless you wanna have a three-way?" he smirked. They jumped him and proceeded to beat the crap out of him.

After a period of about ten minutes of the two girls sitting on top of him pounding the snot out of him, I decided to intervene.

"Excuse me ladies, I need to borrow Dave." I easily pulled him out from under the two girls and began to walk away.

"Thank you, those girls are crazy strong. Is it weird that I find myself turned on by them right now? Bro, where the hell we going? Back to your dorm? Hey I don't mind, your girlfriend is HOT! Does she have a sister? Please say…."

I opened the door to his homeroom, shoved his schedule in his hand, and threw him into the class.

As I walked away I heard screaming and a loud crash as Dave crashed into the desks or the wall. I really hope it was the wall.

I walked out of the school and to my car and got the hell out of there. I drove back to the university and went straight to the dean's.

When I opened the door Riku and professor Vexen were still there. I ignored them and turned to the dean.

"He's enrolled in Twilight Town Senior High. He starts tomorrow but I convinced him to stay today so he can get to know the building and where things are located."

The dean smiled and ran over to me. "You are such a wonderful boy!" he wrapped his arms around me and held me tight, which made me extremely uncomfortable.

"You are so responsible; I knew I could count on you!"

"Dean Xemnas, I feel that this is wildly inappropriate. Please let go."

He pulled away and he seemed to be, _blushing!_

I bowed to the dean. "Thank you dean Xemnas, I hate to run off so soon but I have class in a few minutes and I do not wish to be late."

The dean nodded. "Of course, of course," he turned to hide his face. "Shoo, I don't want you to be late."

I quietly left the room. As I was walking to my dorm room I couldn't help but think of something Rinoa said to me when we started dating.

'_Squall, have you ever noticed anything weird about the dean?'_

'_No.'_

'_I think he likes you.'_

'_Well I am a good, responsible student. Most professors like me.'_

'_No I mean really like likes you. I'm sure he's gay, and may have a crush on you.'_

I shook my head, she had to be wrong. I'm just a good student I have been on the dean's list since I first started. But he….. no.

I walked into the dorm and grabbed my stuff.

"Let's go Cloud, we have class in a few minutes."

Cloud scurried around his side of the room getting all his crap together. I turned to Rinoa, who was lying on my bed.

"Wait for me?"

She smiled. "Right here, like always. I don't have class today."

I smiled as I bent down to give her a kiss.

"Hurry back," she whispered as I pulled away. I nodded in response.

Cloud and I hurried off to professor Luxord's class in the Port Royal building.

We arrived just a few minutes before the professor. We took our seats beside Marluxia.

He smiled. "Hey Squall, hey Cloud." He winked at Cloud.

Cloud smiled as I nodded. "Hey Marly!"

Professor Luxord walked in and cleared his throat. The class quieted and turned to him.

He pulled out a brown paper bag with a bottle in it and took a swig. Marluxia raised his hand, professor Luxord acknowledged him by looking at him, he was busy chugging the substance in the bottle.

"Professor what are you doing?"

"Teaching, want some?"

Marluxia shook his head. The professor shrugged and took a final swig and set the bottle down on his desk. The bag slipped down and I could see that it was rum.

"Alright now we can start." His British accent slurred slightly.

I sighed. _Here we go_.

* * *

Cloud, Marluxia, and I were the last to leave the class and as we were walking out the door the professor stopped us.

"Hallo, I just wanted to know what you lot thought of my class today, I'm trying out a new teaching method."

Marluxia and I remained silent, so he turned to Cloud.

"How about it, mate? What did you think?"

"SHE LEFT ME, FOR ANOTHER WOMAN! HOW CAN A WOMAN BE MORE MANLY THAN A MAN!" He burst out.

Luxord blinked. "You turned one of your girlfriends gay?" the professor literally fell to the floor laughing then as Cloud began to cry. Marluxia rushed to him and put his arms around Cloud.

"It's alright, I always knew you were too good for Tifa," he cooed.

I rolled my eyes and helped the professor to his feet.

"Okay," he gasped. "Who wants to bet that he'll turn his other girlfriend gay?" he eyed me warily once he realized he was talking about my sister.

"OR who wants to bet that Aerith won't be gay? I put down sixty dollars."

Marluxia smiled. "I'm in sweetie, put me down for one hundred."

Cloud looked up. "You all think she'll stay with me?"

"I put down fifty."

They all looked at me. "You're betting on your sister?" Cloud asked incredulously.

"…" I walked out of the room.

I knew Cloud had another class right after this so I went to the lake where I knew I could be alone and pulled out my cell phone.

I debated on whether or not to call Aerith, or rather whether or not to ruin Cloud's relationship.

* * *

_If I don't call her she will continue to see him and that could lead to…._

'_Do you Cloud take Aerith to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, to love and to cherish, in sickness and in health for as long as you both shall live until death do you part?'_

'_I do.'_

'_I now pronounce you man and wife. I present to you Mr. and Mrs. Cloud Strife.'_

_Everyone claps as Cloud plants another kiss on his young bride. I watch in horror as they leave in the limo for the reception party._

_Rinoa smiles. 'That was a beautiful ceremony. I can't wait for kids, I want to be an aunt so badly!'_

_I actually begin to cry as the thought of Cloud touching my sister and having children with her crosses my mind._

_

* * *

_

Standing by the lake I stare in horror. I will not let that happen, I let Cloud date my sister, then I held my tongue (and fist) as he cheated on my sister (especially since I knew Tifa would sooner or later come to grips with her sexuality and leave him), but I would not, under any circumstances, let him marry my sister.

I dialed Aerith's number.

"Hey Squall," I heard her sweet voice answer.

"Aerith I want you to do me a huge favor."

"Of course. What is it?" she asked innocently.

"I want you to tell Cloud that you have seen the light and that you know like girls."

"What? No," her voice was stern.

"Listen I didn't want to tell you this but for the past three months Cloud has been cheating on you with a girl named Tifa. She told Cloud recently that he wasn't man enough for her and she decided to try dating women."

"…. He cheated on me?" her voice was hurt.

I closed my eyes; it was for her own good. Even though it hurt me, hearing how hurt she was.

"Yes," I said quietly. "Consider this revenge. Just don't date women."

"What do you want me to do?"

I sighed. Time to set my plan in motion; my sister will not be Cloud's victim.


	9. Marluxia

**Disclaimer: we own nothing. But if I proclaim that I discovered air I would totally own that :D I'll sell it to you guys for cheap though ;) **

**So iPercy is boarding a ship on Sunday afternoon to meet up with life outside of my college bubble (and she loves talking about herself in third person :D) Thanks for sticking with us and for spamming our emails with reviews 3**

**Marluxia's P.O.V.**

"And then, and then… SHE SAID SHE WAS GAY TOO! That makes two gay girlfriends!" Cloud stated before breaking down in sobs again.

Wow, what a pansy.

"It's okay sweetie, this just means you've been fishing in the wrong pond. Maybe you should look for love somewhere else?" I suggest. Anything to get this blonde to shut the hell up! Geez!

"Are you suggesting I try guys Marluxia?" he asked. Wait WTF when did I say that? Whatever it made him stop crying.

"Sure, why not? It seems like a good idea, keep your options open. You know what they say, you only live once or something," I responded running my hand through my pink hair.

"You know, that makes lots of sense Marluxia…would you go out with me?" He asked.

I couldn't help it I laughed. "Cloud honey, I like men not women. SHIT! I mean you're cute and I love staring at you but HELLS NO! Wait I am not saying this right. PLEASE DON'T CRY!"

Just as Cloud was about to open his mouth to say something someone knocked on my apartment door. THERE IS A GOD! I shot to my feet and ran to the door. As soon as I opened it I was greeted by the sight of Larxene holding a pocketknife with an odd glint in her eyes.

She looked up at me and smiled. "Hey baby!" She said as she hugged me. She has a knife in her hands and she's hugging me! Oh God, she could kill me!

"Hey girlfriend!" I said back. As soon as she found out I was gay she had convinced me that this was how we must ALWAYS greet each other, she also scared me into speaking like a valley girl every time I am near her, something about needing to be a proper gay man. WHY ME!

"I thought I heard crying? Did you're new boy toy break?" She asked shoving past me to take in the sight of the crying Cloud on my couch. "What's wrong with him? Is he retarded or is he on his manly period?"

"Larx, don't be mean. Cloud like found out his girlfriends were like gay and stuff." I whispered as I wrapped my arm around Larxene's waist.

"Alright here I'll fix him for you," Larxene stated as she pushed my hands off of her and walked up to Cloud and slapped him in the face.

"What the fuck was that for!" Cloud shouted as he rubbed the now red spot on his cheek.

"Now listen here pansy. Marmar has lots to do, like go shopping with me. He doesn't have time to deal with your shit so let me fix you shall we. One- you did not turn them gay, they were gay when they met you. Two- you are in serious need of a shower. Three- you have a nice ass and a nice face, so if you are not showered, in tight clothing, and at a bar picking up some hot bimbo that talks like every sentence should have a question mark at the end, in the time frame of thirteen minutes then I will fuck you up! I am not afraid to cut a bitch!" Larxene shouted, and as to emphasize her point she pointed her knife at Cloud who just nodded and ran past us.

"Problem solved Marmar, now let's go shopping!" Larxene said with an innocent looking smile.

"Larx what are you like up to? And you know I hate shopping," I stated staring at the knife in her hands.

"I refuse to believe in a gay man who does not like shopping! If you go with me, then I promise that I will let you shower your apartment with flower petals like you did before we met!" She said with a pout.

"Fine, but you better not like complain when I like do fill my apartment with petals. And like no comment about how strange it is!" I warned as I grabbed my coat off my coach and opened the door as a sign that she had already won. She squealed. I am a dead man.

* * *

"So anyways, then from what I heard the little blue haired baby thing got a major nose bleed, who would have known he was such a pervert? I wish I had seen it, it would have been such great black mail!" Larxene said as she dragged me into a dark and smelly store.

"Larx, how can you even navigate in like such dim lighting and who the hell like sprayed EVERYTHING with cologne?" I muttered.

"Shush! Just enjoy it! Look pictures of hot male models, go look and hush while I shop!"

"Larx, I am gay not a nymphomaniac! I have some self control!"

"yeah yeah, Marmar your valley-girlness is slipping, fix it. Now shush and help me find cute things to wear," She stated immediately throwing about twenty girl shirts at me.

"Why! Who did I kill in a past life!" I whispered.

"What was that Marmar? It sounded like you didn't say like in that sentence. You wouldn't want to disappoint me would you?" She said as she turned to a rack with leather leggings.

"Like what are you talking about?" I asked. PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!

"Nothing, nothing at all Marmar," she said before releasing a girly giggle. "By the way I invited a friend to come join us I hope that's okay with you."

"That means I can go home right?" I asked.

"You can't LIKE go home Marmar. I want you to meet him!" She whined.

"Oh God, your trying to set me up again. WHY ME! Oh sorry why LIKE me."

"Now Marmar this one is gay for sure, I promise and he's almost cute too."

"Yeah I LIKE believe you."

She just smiled and hugged me. "You'll like this one I promise."

It didn't take long for Larxene's friend to meet up with us (and boy did he look like a red sonic the hedgehog!)

"Axel! I'd like you to meet Marluxia, he's my best friend EVER!" Larxene squealed.

"Hold on, hold on. You told me it would be just you and me!" this Axel guy shouted.

"Just you and me? Why would I want a new gay friend, I already have one. No I brought you here for Marmar," Larxene stated before disappearing to pay for her clothes.

"She's always assuming clean guys are gay. I don't see why she would think you were gay though," I stated taking in the guys hobo appearance.

"Are you calling me dirty? I ain't gay!" the man shouted.

"Really?" Larxene stated as she came back and threw three shopping bags for me to catch (BITCH!), "I thought the way you were always going on about Roxas that you were gay for the blonde."

"Roxas? Oh, isn't that that blonde kid that Leon is always talking about?" I asked out loud to no one in particular.

"Roxas is just my best friend (besides Saix); I am just making sure no harpies dig their claw into him. Poor boy doesn't know how to handle his women," Axel went on.

"Is that why I overheard you talking to yourself about how you were losing your dear Roxy? How you couldn't live without him! Pansy," Larxene put in.

"I AM NOT GAY!"

"Larx, he isn't gay!"

"HE'S GAY!"

"IS NOT!" Both Axel and I screamed.

"I refuse to be wrong, so either Axel comes out of the closet or I will drag him out!" Larxene shouted glaring at both of us. Shit.

"On the count of three run…Three!" I shouted and took off in the opposite direction of Larxene. I could hear the hedgehog's footsteps behind me as Larxene screamed profanities.

"Why the hell are you friends with her!" Axel shouted.

"Long story short. Bumped into her, she asked if I was gay and decided we were gonna be best friends, you don't say no to a chick with a dagger!" I shouted back running out of the mall and in the direction of the dorms.

"Why are we running to school, isn't that the first place she'd look?"

"Yeah, but I have a friend who could take care of her for us, this way!"

* * *

"So let me get this straight, you have a crazy ass chick trying to set you both up…and Axel isn't gay…" Leon stated as he stared at us in disbelief.

"YES! THAT'S IT HELP US!" the Axel kid shouted.

"…"

"Leon PLEASE!" I begged.

"…"

"I'll take the hog tied thing off your hands if you do this!" I said looking over at the young boy who looked almost in tears as he wiggled his way towards the door.

"Done deal. Take the brat to the Dean's office for me and point me in the direction of the witch, oh and if my girlfriend asks tell her I am letting Cloud cry on my shoulder," Leon stated as he picked the kid up by his shirt collar and threw him at me.

"Larxene lives on campus in the girl's dorm, just look for the loneliest looking dorm room, everyone avoids it," I said trying to get my grip on the boy.

"She won't bother you again," Leon stated and walked out of the room.

"That guy is AWESOME," Axel exclaimed.

I just nodded, I could possibly be free of Larxene forever, and I love my life!

"Hey Pinky, the brat is trying to worm his way to the door again and if you don't fix it he's gonna end up fallin'," Axel said then there was a loud thud as Dave fell from my arms, "never mind I think he's dead though, he isn't moving."

"SHIT!" I shouted as I kneeled next to the kid. He had landed head first onto the hard wooden floor. If the kid were dead I'd have to deal with Larxene again! Oh and it wouldn't be bad I am sure someone loves this brat.

"Poke it, maybe it'll wake up," Axel said as he handed me a book from Leon's bedside table.

I proceeded to poke the white haired teen. Nothing. Well fuck!

* * *

"SO WAIT YOU HAD HIM RIP OFF MY HAIR!" someone shouted from the other side of the door.

CRASH.

"It was all in the name of science!"

"I don't give a fuck! The kid is mine!"

"You're just a kid yourself!"

CRASH.

"NOT MY WOODEN DESK! It's brand new!"

CRACK!

"Are you sure you want to go in there? It sounds violent and dangerous," Axel whispered wincing as another loud crash came from the other side of the door followed by sobs and cries of "not my window."

"We have to! I am thinking that we should have faced Larxene," I mumbled.

"Well I'll leave you to it," Axel replied trying to sneak out.

"Oh no you don't! Leon is saving your ass too, so your cute little ass is staying here and helping me give this brat to these crazy people," I said with a glare.

"Alright alright, but you don't know Riku like I do. He's scary when he's mad!"

"Well you don't know Vexen like I do, he's nuts any day of the week!"

We slowly made our way towards the door. I knocked, nothing, just more screaming from the other side. Okay different approach! I opened the door slightly then shoved Axel in. The room went silent.

"NOT COOL PINKY!" Axel shouted as I walked into the room dragging Dave behind me.

"You didn't damage my clone did you?" Professor Vexen shouted as he ran towards the boy. The other guy (Riku?) just rolled his eyes and followed. Those two are NOT a good couple. Their children would be ugly…oh wait.

"Who are you?" the Dean asked from behind his desk. Wait why was that desk cut in half? I don't even!

"Leon sent me to drop this kid off," I stated. I could see Axel moving slowly towards the door and grabbed him by the back of the collar with my only free hand.

"Is he dead?" Riku asked as he nudged Dave with his foot.

"Nah, he's just knocked out…I hope," Axel said.

As if on cue the kid started waking up.

"We still haven't come to a conclusion as to who gets custody though, so why would Leon send the kid?" the Dean asked tilting his head to the side.

"He thought you'd be done by now it's been like three weeks. Oh God I said like again!" I answered.

"Well I am sorry but we are going to have to send him back to Leon till we get this settled…my furniture!" the Dean sobbed.

"NO! PLEASE NO! I WANT MOMMY! LET ME STAY WITH MOMMY! I can't go back! Leon with the rope and then Cloud with the gay and, and, and WAH!" Dave shouted as he tried to move towards Vexen (we still hadn't untied him).

"Stop being a pansy!" Riku (I think that was his name) shouted as he kicked Dave in the leg.

"Mommy, make him stop!" Dave shouted.

"Pansy," Riku whispered.

"I love family reunions," Axel stated "especially when they make Riku look like an abusive father."

That earned him a good glare from Riku.

"Wonderful!" the Dean cheered, "I can order new furniture! Now get the hell out of my office!"

To say that we were all running to get the hell out of that man's office is an understatement. The Dean is NEVER mad and it's creepy getting screamed at by him. Once we were all out of the office I stayed behind having just noticed spikey blue hair in the secretary desk.

"Hey Saix baby, what does it feel like to work _under_ the Dean," I asked leaning on the desk with a smirk.

"Drop dead homo," Saix muttered as he hung up the phone he had been speaking into.

"What it's a simple and harmless question? Is it fun? Do you enjoy it?" I teased.

"Marluxia, I will shove this phone down your throat!" Saix threatened.

"Sure thing baby, but you should know that I like my men to buy me dinner first," I said with a wink and walked away.

My phone vibrated alerting me to a txt. I fished it out of my pocket.

_So? - Larx_

I just smiled and typed back.

_He isn't gay Larx, he's just weird, and you should give him a shot. BTW what did Leon do to you? - Marmar_

My phone vibrated again a minute later.

_He gave me $20. Thanks for doing this Marmar. As promised you don't have to say like anymore. Meet me at your apartment? XOXO- Larx_

I chuckled. Of course Leon would try to buy her off. I smiled. She owes me big for running around with Axel like some sort of pansy. At least I got to tease Saix.

* * *

**iPercy's paragraph of DOOM!: I AM ON A BOAT (^_^) I AM ON A BOAT! Lol idk where I am going but I am on a boat! 3 you guys! No joke I finished this chapter a few minutes before I have to get in the car and leave, I hope it's up to your standards.**

**BTW- by the way**

**XOXO- hugs and kisses**


	10. Saix

**Disclaimer: We are too cool for life…but not cool enough to own KH. Hi guys so sorry I took so long but there were issues with the internet at my house (no internet) but I fixed it by getting a new laptop! :D So here is my chapter, enjoy!**

**OKAY GUYS CONTEST! IF ONE OF YOU CAN GUESS WHAT MY NEXT COLLABORATION WITH IPERCY (BASED ON OUR PROFILE PICTURES) WILL BE BEFORE THE NEXT UPDATE WILL GET A CHAPTER DEDICATED TO THEM! OMGOMGOMG! LULZ.**

**Saix's P.O.V**

_Damn that pink haired, Justin Bieber loving homo, _I thought angrily.

_Who does he think he is, strutting in here like he owns the place? This is just a job, a way to get money and that is it. _**I'm **_not the one fucking the dean anyway, Marly._

I grinned as I thought about all of Marluxia's late night visits to the dean's office.

_You think no one knows, but I always check all the video cameras everyday I come into to work, to make sure no one broke in and tried to steal anything. I was very interested in one tape from a few months ago that showed Marluxia walking into to the dean's office at 2:00 am. He's been there several times since then, and all at 2:00 am._

I smiled evilly. _I know your secret._

Then the phone rang.

"Hello Dean Xemnas' office, Oblivion University. May I help you?"

"HEY FRAT BROTHER!" Axel screamed.

I hung up, and immediately received a text.

**Why did you hang up? **

**I told you not to call me at work, **I replied.

**I wanted to congratulate you on getting into Organization XIII with me. :D**

**Yay, I'm so happy I could kill myself.** I was not enthused.

**:O DON'T SAY THINGS LIKE THAT SAIX!**

**Leave me alone.**

**Don't be like that buddy. Hey meet me at that Indian place you like, Agrabah Palace.**

**It's Arabian you dolt and no.**

**WHY?**

**I'm working, goodbye.**

I put my phone in my pocket and ignored it every time it vibrated.

_Damn that Axel, so annoying._

_

* * *

_

_An hour later:_

I looked up when I felt the presence of someone standing at my desk.

I sighed. "Leon I've told you before, please don't just stand there, say something."

He gave me a brief smile, accompanied by a shrug.

"I'm here to speak with the dean."

I nodded. "Isn't everyone?" I muttered.

Leon cocked an eyebrow.

"What's wrong? Were you rubbed the wrong way?"

I just glared at him.

"…." He remained silent, staring indifferently at me.

I sighed. "Yes Marluxia was just here and then there was Axel," I trailed off.

He nodded. "Marluxia can be frustrating at times. I've never met Axel but I heard about him from a friend of mine, Roxas."

I grit my teeth. "Then you know how Axel can be."

He nodded. "What time do you get off?"

I looked at the clock. "I have one more hour."

He nodded for the third consecutive time. "I'll be done by then."

A look of worry passed over my face. "What are you planning?"

"I'm going to teach you how I made it all the way to grad school with Cloud, an occasionally nagging girlfriend, a gay guy, and a dean who frequently made passes at me."

I stared at him. _I thought I had it bad with Axel._

It was my turn to nod. "Alright, I'll be here."

"…" he walked into the dean's office without another word.

I watched him go. _Leon sure is an enigma. He may also be the coolest man on the planet._

_

* * *

_

I finished my work and waited for Leon. He came out of the dean's office about 10 minutes later.

I had never seen the dean so animated.

"Thank you so much for your help with Dave, Leon. You are always such a good man, Rinoa is very lucky to have snagged you!" he said cheerfully.

"…." Leon nodded in response.

I approached the duo. "Dean Xemnas, I have finished all my paperwork and will be leaving now," I said.

The dean smiled at me before turning to Leon. "Saix is such a good boy, although he doesn't have your personality."

"…."

I blinked. _Does he seriously think that Leon has more personality than me? The man barely speaks!_

The dean turned to me. "I almost forgot I brought you a treat for being such a good boy."

He handed me a Tupperware container filled with cookies.

He smiled. "My darling niece made them for me! I believe you know her, Naminé?"

"Yes, I do. I have her for a class. So she is your niece?"

"No not really, I am good friends with her father and I have known her since she was born. She really is such a lovely child!"

Leon nodded and turned to me. "We better go."

I nodded in agreement as he turned back to the dean.

"It has been nice talking with you dean, but we must be off."

The dean smiled. "Alright, be a dear and come visit me again."

Leon nodded and I followed him out the door.

Outside I followed Leon to a beat up old corolla. _Damn I've got a better car than this piece of crap!_

He walked past the corolla and to a black Porsche Spyder.

"Holy shit, this is your car?" I was startled by the amount of emotion I expressed.

He nodded. "Get in."

I obeyed and climbed into his car.

* * *

Once inside the grill we approached the bar.

"Well, well, look who's here," the female bartender said resting on the bar.

"If it isn't Leon, I haven't seen you in a while stud."

He nodded. "Hi Julia, get me and the kid the usual."

"He's having what you're having?"

"Did I stutter?" Leon sounded annoyed.

"Alright, simmer down," she turned to me. "I'm gonna need to see id."

I nodded and took out my license. She glanced at it and handed it back, satisfied.

As we waited for our drinks someone called out to us.

We turned to see Riku and this cute blonde girl.

"Leon I wanted to thank you for introducing me to Brandy," he said.

Brandy clung to Riku's arm and smiled at us.

"Yes, thank you. Best sex I have ever had!" she exclaimed.

"We've got a real sweet set up too," he began.

"Friends with benefits," she finished.

"No strings attached," he said happily.

Leon nodded. "I'm happy for you." He turned back to the bar.

Riku and Brandy walked away.

As I turned to the bar, I noticed a girl.

I recognized her from a couple classes we had together. She was sitting with some blonde guy.

I decided to ignore them and focus on my drink. I turned to ask Leon what the "usual" was, and read the text message he was writing.

_Come to the Coliseum grill. I want to talk. Please come, love you._

He pushed the send button and looked at me.

"….."

"….It was an accident," I said.

"…No worries. You're in for one helluva good show."

I looked at him questioningly.

He ignored my look as Julia came back with our drinks.

"Here you go boys," she said with a wink.

Leon reached for his glass and turned to me.

"This is how I got through four years of Cloud, Rinoa, and the dean. I cam here at least once a week and drank a few glasses of this," he took a sip. "Straight up vodka."

I stared at the glass I held. I had never tried vodka, and I was a little anxious too.

Leon eyed me. "Try it. You won't like it at first, but after the first glass it goes down easy."

I looked at him. He held up his glass and nodded his head and without another word downed his glass.

I took a deep breath and took a sip. I could hear Leon chuckle as I grimaced.

"This is horrible!" I coughed.

"Well drink up. The best way to deal with those crazy people we hang around with is to get good

and smashed."

I nodded. _He speaks from experience, _I told myself.

As I took my second sip Marluxia walked in as if on cue.

"Well, well, if it isn't Xemnas' little lapdog."

I glared at him. "Shut up."

"Bite me," he dared.

"Don't tempt me," I growled.

He turned to Leon then. "Hey thanks again for getting Larxene off my back,"

Squall nodded and swallowed his second glass of vodka, and ordered a third.

"Um, Leon, don't you think you should take it easy on the drinking?" Marluxia asked.

"…"

I smiled slightly to myself. _Leon does not seem to give a fuck._

"Squall?" a girl's voice called out to him.

The three of us turned to see a young girl standing in front of us. She appeared to be only a couple of years older than me, and she was quite stunning. She had long chestnut brown hair, which she braided, and large emerald green eyes. She wore a simple pink sun dress and a pink bow in her hair.

"Uh, sorry Aerith we don't know a Squall," Marluxia said.

She narrowed her eyes in confusion.

"Squall's right,"

"Cloud," Leon interjected, pointing to where the blond boy from before was sitting with the familiar, but unimpressive, girl from one of my classes.

She looked to where Leon was pointing. Her face turned a bright red and her beautiful features contorted in anger.

"CLOUD!" she screamed.

Cloud fell off his chair. "Aerith?"

She stormed over to him. She stopped in front of what's-her-name and smiled.

"Hello my name is Aerith and I'm Cloud's girlfriend. Oh I'm sorry, EX-girlfriend."

She whirled around to face Cloud, murderous rage in her eyes.

"Well, on a date?"

"Umm, well, not really. We just met, I kind of picked her up at the bar just now….." he trailed off when he noticed the death stare he was receiving from Aerith.

"So, the second we're no longer together you go and jump on the next piece of ass you see!" she turned to the nameless girl. "No offense," she said with a polite smile.

The girl blinked. "Uh, none taken?"

Aerith turned back to Cloud.

"Do you even know her name, you asshole?"

He stared at Aerith, clueless before turning to the other girl.

"I don't remember," he squeaked.

The other girl stood up. "It's Yuna, Cloud! You've said my name, like, 3 times during our conversation!"

"Way to go you dick! If I know you, and I do, you were going to take her back to your place, have your way with her, and then never bother to call her again," Aerith shouted.

"Is that the kind of girl you think I am!" Yuna walked over to him and slapped him across the face. She turned and stormed out of the bar.

Aerith smiled wickedly. "Well now, looks like I talked some sense into your date," she sneered.

"Well now maybe it's time I told you the truth. I'm not a lesbian."

Cloud's mouth hung open, "W….what?"

"I'm not a lesbian," she repeated "Squall called me and told me to pretend to be gay. I went along with it even though I didn't like the idea, but now that I think about it, Tifa was right about you."

"H…how do you know about Tifa?" he stuttered.

"Squall told me," she answered.

"Who the fuck is Squall?" Cloud screamed.

"You don't have the right to know," she turned around and looked at Leon and me, then back to Cloud.

"You disgust me you stupid fuck," her words were filled with venom.

She walked over to us grabbed my hand and pulled me off the stool.

"Let's go, I'm taking you out. We're dating now." She said pulling me past Cloud.

I looked back at Leon (a.k.a. Squall, Cloud and Marluxia are so stupid!), he raised an entire bottle of vodka, smiled, and proceeded to drain the whole thing.

Aerith lead me out of the bar and towards a pale green Volkswagen Beetle. Upon reaching said vehicle she let go of my hand and fell to her knees with her face in her hands, sobbing.

I stood beside her, unsure of what to do. Finally I decided to comfort her, so I knelt down beside her.

"Hey, you're obviously not alright so I won't ask. I also won't ask what happened, but if you need to cry and you don't want to be alone, I'm here."

She looked up at me with a tear-stained face. I blushed involuntarily.

_She's beautiful, even when she's crying._

I cleared my throat in embarrassment.

She gave me a weak smile.

"Thank you," she choked out "I'm sorry about all this. I didn't even get your name."

"Saix," I responded.

"Well my name is Aerith. It's nice to meet you Saix, even if the circumstances were not the best."

I stood and offered her my hand, she took it and I pulled her up off the ground.

"I'm sorry to trouble you, but where do you live? I can drop you off and then continue on my way home."

I raised an eyebrow. "What was all that about dating?"

She blushed, my heart skipped a beat. _Why does she have this effect on me! This has never happened before!_

"That was kind of a show; I was so jealous and angry that Cloud could get over me that easily. Squall told me he cried for weeks over Tifa. I broke up with him earlier today and look at where he is now." Her eyes began to tear up again.

"Aerith," she looked up at me "do you really want to be by yourself right now?"

She shook her head as the tears began to roll down her face.

I held out my hand. "I'll drive," I said.

She smiled at me. "Thank you!" she threw her arms around me in an embrace.

I blushed as my heart thudded. I thought it would burst out of my chest.

When she let go we climbed into car. As I pulled out of the parking lot her phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Oh, hi Squall. Yes I'm alright. No, I just left, I'm with Saix."

She was silent for a moment.

"No I am never going back to Cloud. I'm serious Squall, not after what he's done to me."

It was silent in the car but I could barely hear myself think. Her words echoed in my head.

'_No I am never going back to Cloud' does this mean? Maybe if tonight goes well, wait what was I thinking? She needs a few days to recuperate; I don't want to be the rebound. NO! What on Earth am I thinking? I sound like that girl-crazy-Axel. But…_

I stole a quick glance at Aerith. She was still on the phone and I couldn't help but notice again how striking she was. She quite literally took my breath away.

I blushed and turned back to the road. _This is crazy Saix, _I thought to myself. _I can't help it, I'm wildly attracted to her, this has never happened before, I was actually nervous about it._

"I don't know where we're going… Yeah sure hold on," she turned to me. "My brother, Squall, he wants to talk to you." She held her cell phone out to me.

_He's her brother! So that's the relationship they have._

"Hello?"

"Where are you going?" Leon demanded.

"A place I go to all the time to think. Don't worry she's safe; I'll make sure nothing happens to her. Is there a specific time you want her back?" I asked.

"…..Not really. Listen up kid, I've got some advice for you."

I nodded. "Alright, shoot."

"Do not fuck up. If you hurt my sister in any way I will kill you, I'm serious."

"I didn't doubt you."

"…Good. Also I want to say I like you better than Cloud. Make sure Aerith does not have any intentions, thoughts, or plans on getting back together with Cloud. If anything should happen between the two of you, it better not be sex by the way or I will castrate you, but if any feelings arise I won't have a problem with you two dating."

"I promise no funny stuff. I'm glad you feel that way but I cannot promise anything."

"I'm not asking you too. Just take care of her okay?"

"Yessir," I answered.

"Put her back on," I handed the phone back to Aerith.

She smiled as she took it.

"Yes? All right Squall, I will. Love you." She hung up the phone.

"So," she asked turning to me "where are we going? I'm a little curious."

I smiled. "I'm afraid I can't disclose that information."

She giggled. "'I'm afraid I can't disclose that information.' You sound like a professor. Relax I'm not going to hurt you."

I laughed, which really was surprising. "Don't worry I'm not afraid of you," I assured her.

She smiled. "I heard you tell Squall it was a place you like to go to think. Where could that be?"

"I cannot disclose that information," I replied, deliberately teasing her.

She laughed and I smiled. _I wonder if it's possible to love someone you've just met._

"Alright, I give up, I'll wait. You know you're really hard to read. With Cloud I knew exactly where he was going to take me on our first date, with a couple of questions. I can't tell with you, and frankly it's intriguing."

"I don't really know how to answer that."

"You don't," she said with a smile.

I pulled into a large estate with a giant abandoned castle. I parked the car and cut the engine.

Aerith stepped out of the VW Bug and looked up at the castle.

"This is beautiful," she breathed.

I nodded. "I found this place back in freshmen year of high school. I used to come here every day after school." I walked in her direction and stood beside her.

We stared in awe at the large castle for a few minutes. I bravely reached out and took her hand.

"Come on, I want to show you something."

I lead her around the side of the castle, trudging through brambles, I continuously checked to make sure she was alright. She laughed.

"I'm tougher than you think Saix!"

Finally we arrived at the garden. Aerith gasped.

"Did….did you do this?"

I nodded. "Took me all four years. It's not done; I hope to restore it to its full splendor one day."

She let go of my hand and strolled around the garden grounds.

"There's a fountain too!" she called out to me.

"Yeah, there is." I walked over to the plug for the fountain. "I had to get a modern replica of the old fountain," I explained as I turned it on.

"It's beautiful all the same," she said running to the bubbling fountain.

"Saix come join me!"

I walked over to her, she was sitting on the lip of the fountain, she patted the spot beside her.

"So you're a horticulturist?" she asked.

"Not really, but I like this place. My next task when I'm done here is the castle."

She looked up at it. "Do you plan on living here?" she asked, her eyes transfixed on the castle.

"It's too big for me to live in alone."

She turned back to me. "Do you plan on sharing it with someone? A friend maybe?"

"Not a friend, no," I replied, scooting a little closer to her.

"A lover?" she asked, moving towards me.

"A wife," I answered.

"You're going to make some girl very happy, you know that?" she said.

"How do you feel right now?" I asked leaning closer to her.

"Happy," she answered, I kissed her then.

When I pulled away I looked at her and cocked an eyebrow. "Now?"

She smiled. "Very happy," she answered pulling me close for another kiss.

* * *

We walked back to the car hand in hand.

"It's my turn to drive," she said trying to take the keys from me.

"Where do you plan on taking me?" I asked holding the keys out of her reach, which wasn't hard seeing as how I was taller.

"I'm afraid I can't disclose that information!" she repeated my earlier words verbatim.

"Fine you win," I said handing her the keys.

She stuck out her tongue. "That's right!"

We clambered into the car and she pulled away from the castle.

* * *

I stared at the entrance of Skellington Cemetery.

"Why are we here?"

"There's a place in here that I've always wanted to go to but Cloud was always too scared to come with me."

"What is that place?" I asked.

"The Halloweentown Horror Park!" she cried cheerfully.

"You are a strange girl," I laughed.

She took my hand. "Come on, it'll be fun!"

I smiled as I allowed her to lead me into the heart of the cemetery, towards Halloweentown Horror Park.

_I think I love you. _


	11. Larxene

**Alright here it is, sorry we took so long! Sadly this fanfiction is coming to an end, only two chapters to go, but never fear! You Hetalia fans better get ready cos iPercy and I are taking on Axis Powers Hetalia next! We would also like to dedicate our last chapter to two readers! Sovereign Beta (one of iPercy's readers) and shatteredfire, one of my readers. Thank you all for reading and reviewing our fic. We love you and hopefully those of you who like Hetalia will follow us as stumble and botch our way through history!  
:D**

* * *

Larxene's P.O.V.

If the equation for the electrical field of a wire is lambda/2pi, with 2 pi multiplied by epsilon_0 and the radius then…how FUCKED am I for this exam? There is no way I could learn half a semester's worth of material by myself!" I shouted slamming my fist on the wooden table, earning myself glares from the other people in the library.

"You are totally fucked! As for all this cramming stuff… tell me about it!" Axel whispered as he continued to slam his head on his biology book.

"Wait a minute, why are you two cramming half a semester's worth of information into your brains now. Haven't you gone to class or kept up with your studies?" Roxas asked as he looked up from his English textbook.

Axel and I exchanged looks before looking over at Roxas and muttering a "freshmen" before looking back at our books.

"It may be because I am also a freshmen, but I don't understand what being a freshmen has to do with anything," Naminé asked as she continued to shade in the drawing she was working on.

"Well you see Naminé, by the end of this semester you'll come to realize that you wasted about eight grand just to realize you only really need to show up for your final and your midterm," Zexion stated as he continued to look over Demyx's English essay.

"So, does that mean none of you have gone to class. Like at all? Isn't that why you guys are in a tight spot now?" Naminé asked, placing her pencil on the desk and looking up at Axel and me.

"NO ONE ASKED YOU GIRLY!" I shouted. Naminé's eyes widened and she grabbed onto Roxas's arm as if asking for protection. _Yeah you better fear me!_

"Calm yourself Larxene, it isn't her fault you procrastinated on studying for your physics midterm. Axel I would stop slamming my head against that book, you need every last brain cell you can get," Zexion said.

Roxas looked over at Axel with pity. "Shouldn't Saix be studying with you? I mean you guys usually study together, though I doubt Saix put everything off till the last minute."

"That's where you are wrong. Saix hasn't even OPENED his book. He's too busy with his girlfriend! I can't believe it! This guy, Leon, hooked Saix up with a girl! Damn and she's hot! Why can't I find a girl! How could he replace me! You!" he pointed dramatically to Zexion.

"You might get lucky with that high school girl, Roxas you have the short blonde one," he glared at her before returning to a woeful expression.

"Hell even Dave has several accounts of sexual harassment on his record! He's even getting tail, illegally but he's still getting some! Why am I the only single one!

"Dem is sing—"Naminé started.

"Demyx doesn't count!" Axel stated. We all turned to Demyx.

"Some one please save us, us college kids—OUCH! WHAT THE HELL LARXENE!" Demyx shouted.

"Stop singing. I need to concentrate, now give me back my God damn physics book before I skewer you with my pen!" I shouted.

"SHHHHHH!"

"OH WHO ASKED YOU?" I screamed at the people around us.

"Someone tell Saix, I loved him! After my exam tomorrow I am just going to die. I will be disowned! I will have to work for McDonald's! I will never do anything in my life. I should just hang myself!" Axel stated before hyperventilating.

"OMG PRICELESS! You sure you aren't gay?" I teased.

"Its not nice to tease Larxene. Now study or I will take you to the pet shop to see puppies and kittens," Zexion threatened.

"You do that and I will tell Demyx that you wanna ride his sister like a pony," I responded causing him to turn as red as Axel's hair.

"What does she mean? I like ponies, I want a pony ride!" Demyx asked causing Naminé and Roxas to break out in laughter.

"You see Dem Dem," I said "when a boy FINALLY goes through puberty (like Zexy) and a slutty looking girl like your sister shows u—" Zexion covering my mouth, interrupting me.

"What she means to say Demyx, is that your sister is a lovely girl but she should probably cover up a little more," Naminé said hugging him.

"SOMEONE TEACH ME PLANT SEX!" Axel shouted.

We all just stared at him, and then broke into laughter (at his expense of course). This had to be the highlight of my week. Monday was going to be a LONG day. Stupid midterms!

* * *

After Midterms

_IT'S OVER IT'S FINALLY OVER!_ I ran out of my physics exam. First stop, Mar-Mar's house! I ran across campus as fast as I could, not really watching where I was going. I bumped into some guy and ended up on top of him.

"Get out of my way moron! I'm in a hurry!" I said as I pushed off the ground and extended my hand to the kid without really paying attention.

"Well, I could totally see that Larxene," Axel stated "so, how was your exam?"

"I don't know, point being, it is OVER!" I shouted.

Axel just laughed. "So how does that make you feel?"

"You wanna know how it makes me feel. It makes me feel so happy like, like…" I stopped and just stared at him. I grabbed onto his red hair and pulled him towards me until our lips were crushed uncomfortably against each other. I pressed my tongue against his lips, prying them open before quickly pulling back and blowing him a kiss. "It feels like that! FREEDOM!"

"Go out with me?" He asked quickly. I just giggled.

"Yeah sure whatever. I am going to Marly's later kid! FREEDOM!" I shouted before I began running towards Marluxia's once more.

* * *

At Marluxia's

"So then, then she left me for some guy with blue hair! I knew I shoulda mourned her lesbianism a little longer!" Cloud sobbed.

"Cloud, sweetie, baby…don't you have a room mate you could cry to?" Marluxia asked.

"He told me to go fuck myself and then, and then, and then…He called me a little peepee man! I am not a little peepee man!...What does that even mean!" Cloud asked through tears.

"I think he called you a pussy," Marluxia explained.

Cloud wailed louder.

"Oh God. Cloud, get your pansy ass up and out of this apartment before I stab you with a spoon! You're killing my mood," I muttered poking the blonde's ribs with my pudding-covered spoon.

"I CAN'T LEAVE! I need someone to lean on. I need a date!" Cloud said before the tears started again.

_Oh God._ "Marluxia will go out with you," I stated getting off the couch.

"Or- and this is a great or… Marluxia WON'T go out with him," Mar-Mar said glaring at me.

More tears from the blonde…what a pussy.

"He'll pick you up at noon. Now go! Oh and Marly, I apparently have a date with Axel… I don't know what the FUCK came over me, but I agreed. You're helping me choose out clothing."

"Cloud…just NO! Larxene I have more important things to do, like attend to this uneaten pudding," He said motioning to the pudding cup in his hand.

"Mar-Mar you can't fool me, you can put the pudding in the fridge and eat it later or- and this is a great or," I copied "you can eat it while I try on clothes for you. If you refuse I will have to cut off your penis while you sleep comprende?" I said sweetly.

"Oooookay, well see you later Marluxia…she's freaking me out," Cloud muttered before running out of the apartment, slamming the door behind him.

"Much better. Now Mar-Mar, stilettos with my black skirt and my new organization 13 blue tank top? Or a dress?" I asked

Marluxia just stared at me. "Why me!"

* * *

Later

I decided to pay old Mansex a bit of a visit to make sure it was okay to force- I mean recruit Roxas and the other losers into the Organization. Saix, Mar-Mar and Zexion were already in. Zexion was the first loser in the damn organization, number…6? I don't know it was some gay number there. Mar-Mar and Saix were supposed to take control of the club themselves as the student heads. They agreed to let me into the club soon too, but only after I got gathered some more members, and got rid of my knife collection.

"Oh God!"

I walked up to the door labeled Dean's office and walked into the waiting room to see Saix talking to some bimbo. Meh, I am here already might as well enjoy myself a little before bugging the Dean.

"Oh, Saix!" I sang.

"Hey Saix, I heard some interesting stuff about you and your love life. Did you meet her at the vet? Does she have all her shots?"

"Larxene, are you calling my girlfriend a dog?"

The girl blinked.

"Oh Shit, you mean to tell me you got a HUMAN girlfriend. How much are you paying her to pretend?"

"I'm right here bitch!" The girl yelled.

"Oh that's it! OUT LARXENE!" Saix cried.

"You don't scare me mutt. Now be a good boy and let the dean know I am here and maybe, just maybe I'll give you a doggy treat," I teased. Way too easy.

The dean's office door creaked open, but I don't think Saix noticed.

"Larxene get the FUCK out of this office before I kill you!" he threatened.

"Now now Saix, that is no way to talk to your peers, especially such a lovely girl. Oh how she reminds me of my little Naminé. Have you met my little girl Larxene? She's such a sweet girl, a little too sweet. You would be a nice influence on her. She doesn't hang out with too many girls and I am a little worried, especially that delinquent Roxas!" The dean said. Man can he rant.

"I am sorry Dean but didn't you previously comment on what a nice boy Roxas was? And please let me kick her out, the SHE DEVIL!" Saix argued.

"What?" Xemnas asked tilting his head to the side in confusion.

"Don't strain yourself. I am here to talk about the organization we were working on. Is everything set up? I'd kind of like to start recruiting people," I stated.

"But we already started recruiting…didn't we? I could have sworn that I had Zexion and Saix gather some students. Saix, did you not do like I asked you to?" Xemnas asked with puppy dog eyes.

"Yeah Saix, have you been a bad puppy?" I teased.

Saix just glared. "I managed to gather a few students and gave them each a number based on when they joined the club, of course I had to start with the munchkin at number six though since you INSISTED on me inviting the most…interesting professors as our sponsors," he said.

"Then I am lost why do we need more?" the Dean asked.

"Because we are organization thirteen not twelve! So obviously we need two more members," I pointed out.

"Larxene, we have twelve, you add two and you get fourteen," Saix stated.

"Yeah but I wanted to invite Xion just cuz it'd be fun to see everyone react to her, she doesn't really count as a real person anyways so I think it should be okay," I responded.

"I agree with Larxene!" the Dean stated.

"Wait…am I missing something," the chick said. I totally forgot she was still just sitting there.

"A brain? Properly working glasses since you find Saix attractive? Logic?" I said in my attempt to help a poor girl out. The girl simply glared at me, opened her mouth (probably with the intent of using very colorful language) and shut it abruptly when we heard the front door squeak as it was opened.

All of our eyes traveled towards the door, spotting the female blonde. What was her name? Namba? I am just going to call her midget. Well midget was just standing there looking towards all of us, before turning her attention to her shoes.

"Um…sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt. Maybe I should come back later?" the midget said.

"YES!" Saix, his weird girlfriend and I all said in unison, but we were all ignored as the Dean ran past us and hugged her tightly against his body.

"Nonsense my little Nami! You're always welcome here! Wait, why are you here? Should I kill Roxas? Please say yes!" Xemnas said

"Um…no. I came here because father wanted me to ask you if you and…" she looked around at all of us "your wife wanted to come to dinner with us tomorrow."

Well…that totally just threw all of us off guard.

"Wait a minute midget…don't you mean his boyfriend, his husband, anything that doesn't have a vagina?" I asked.

"Wife! Like a woman!" Saix let out before he could stop himself. If I weren't stunned I would totally tease him about this.

"You're not in love with my brother?" the girlfriend stated.

"Why are you all in shock? I have a wife and she is the most beautiful wife EVER! She's pretty and wonderful and pretty, just like my little Nami here!" the Dean squealed.

Seriously people…this man has a WIFE! Maybe my gay-dar is broken! What if Mar-Mar is next? What if he gets a wife too? The gay is a lie! Okay it's okay Larxene, calm down. Lets see…maybe he means it's his "wife," maybe "she" is just a cover? Yeah that has to be it. But he called HER pretty. AHHHHHHHHHHHH! I know nothing anymore!

"And with that comment out there I am out of here! A date with Axel makes more sense at this point!" I stated as I walked to the door.

"Wait, did she say she had a date with Axel? Where the fuck am I! What type of sick twisted dimension did I end up in where Larxene likes Axel and Xemnas is straight!" I heard Saix say before closing the door behind me. I think this is going to be one long, mind-fucking day.

Where is he! I've been patiently waiting here for two minutes! I mean he tells me to be here at six I show up at five-thirty and he isn't here! The nerve of some people! If he doesn't show up in the next five minutes I am just wa…Hello Biceps!

A tall guy with silver hair and HUGE muscles walked by and stood next to me. Well I know what I'll be doing soon.

"Well hello," I said smirking at him "fuck me!"

The silver haired sex-on-legs just stared at me, letting his eyes roam over my curves before shrugging and extending an arm towards me. "M'okay, but I get to be on top."

Fuck yeah! I took his hand in mine and let him drag me away from the restaurant; I mean did Axel think I would enjoy a fancy restaurant called Castle of Dreams. It has got to be the most cliché place EVER!

"Larxene. You're early…or am I late?" Axel asked as he ran up to us holding a dozen red roses in his hand. Typical date mess up, at least with me.

"No you're on time. I don't think it's a good time for us to go on our date now cuz…well look at him!" I shouted pointing at the Hotness who looked at us confused.

"Wait, are you seriously leaving me right before our date? I didn't even have enough time to fuck up. I don't get college girls!" Axel shouted at me throwing the roses on the ground before storming off with his hands shoved into his pockets.

"Wait. So you're Larxene, the crazy girl Axel's been dying over? Works for me," Riku said as he bent down to pick up the only unharmed rose from the dozen and handing it to me.

"So, my room or yours?" I asked him with a smile.

"Mines closer I am sure," Riku stated before walking off in the direction of the single dorms.

"No…no…no…FUCK!...so close…no not there…come on…why don't you listen…move! AUGH!," I shouted as the gameover screen flashed on Riku's (turns out he's Riku, the one Axel is always bitching about) television screen.

"What is this the third time you lost at this game, Larx?" Riku asked as he took the controller out of my hand and began playing. I just sat there glaring at him. He was so close I could have punched him; especially since he managed to beat the level I had just died in, in a matter of seconds. I swear he cheats!

"Whatever, this game is for little kids anyway," I muttered. Riku just chuckled.

"There is no way Kingdom Hearse is for little kids. I mean the main character is a twelve year old with a chainsaw, and his partners are a rabid dog with only a shirt and a headless roasted duck with just pants. There is more gore in this one level alone than in all the horror movies of this generation combined!" Riku commented. I think he just had a nerdgasm.

"Come on Riku let's play a more mature game. Something that doesn't piss me off!" I said with a pout.

"What'd you have in mind? SCORE! I just got a new chainsaw! What were you saying?" Riku asked and it took everything in me not to kill him.

I pushed him down on the couch, taking the controller form his hand and tossing it across the room before moving so that I was straddling him. "I like you better when you're not talking," I teased.

"You're just doing this because you died in the game," Riku said with a smirk. I leaned down and kissed him. Hot damn it felt good, his tongue was warm. My hands began to stroke his six-pack. MUCH better than a date with Axel. Suddenly Riku sat up causing me to fall off of him and land on my ass on the floor.

"NOT COOL!" I shouted.

I looked up to see Riku reach over to the coffee table next to the sofa, grab his cell phone and began speaking to someone on the other line. Oh that is far from cool! I pouted and pushed myself off the ground. I walked towards the door to grab my shoes before feeling a sharp pain coming from my foot. I stopped moving and pulled my leg into an odd angle to see the bottom of my foot. Great, I am bleeding. What the fuck did I step on!

I looked back to spot a single red rose now covered in my blood. I walked back towards it, kneeled down and picked it up. What the fuck type of sick joke is this! Stupid universe playing the karma card! AUGH! I snapped the stem of the rose and tossed it into the trash.

I've had enough of this mind fucking day, and for some odd reason I know it's all Axel's fault!


	12. Demyx

**DISCLAIMER: WE DO NOT OWN KINGDOM HEARTS. If we did things would be much more confusing *evil laughter*. Anywho, sorry for taking so long, we have finals now. So iPercy wrote half of the fic and I wrote half. Can you guess who wrote which half? ;)**

**

* * *

Demyx P.O.V.  
**

"Hey Zexion!" Rikku's voice filled our dorm.

I looked up from my sitar, to see Rikku standing in the doorway.

"…" Zexion waved awkwardly with one hand while the other covered his nose.

"You say hi to him? What about ME? Your loving big brother?" I cried before turning to Zexion.

"You okay there Zexy?"

Rikku strolled into the room. "Of course he is I'm here!" she announced. "By the way, hi Dem can we borrow your car?"

I stared open-mouthed at her. "You only remember me when it's convenient for you?"

She smiled. "So, is that a yes?"

"Who is the 'we'?" I asked suspiciously.

"Zexion and I duh!" she rolled her eyes.

I stared. "Wha?"

She turned to my emo roommate and smiled. "We're dating!"

Zexion, who was lying on the floor dying of blood loss, sat up.

"Say what now?" he asked stupidly.

"Well remember the other day, when you met up with me at school on your break? Remember how I pushed you against the wall," she chuckled "you were powerless against me. I, well there isn't an easy way to say this, I tongue raped you, remember? You looked so cute, your face was red and your eyes were huge and had a confused look to them."

Zexion's nosebleed was progressively growing worse while I was turning red with anger.

"Yeah, you didn't fight me, and I guess you didn't hear me when I said I liked you, a lot. Well I guess it might have been hard to understand me, what with my tongue down your throat and all."

"OKAY!" Zexion yelled nervously jumping up.

I turned slowly to my roommate. "You have 5 minutes to run," I threatened.

Rikku grabbed my keys off the dresser scooped up Zexion in her arms and ran out the door.

I stared at the door, fuming. Dave appeared soon after. "What'cha do~ing'?" He sang.

I glared at him. He stared back. "I saw Rikku and Zexion. Boy were they going at it." He grinned. "She was twisted around him like a pretzel. I offered them thirty bucks to let me join but she threatened to hurt me. I told her that wasn't a problem, I'm into that kind of thing. I offered to supply her with whips, handcuffs, you know, the good stuff."

"Shut up," I growled. He just smiled, strolled into my room and plopped down on my bed.

"I wouldn't be surprised if that show ended in your car," he sneered.

I grabbed my sitar and began to play, expressing my anger with the 22 stringed instrument.

"You know," Dave mused, lounging comfortably on my bed across the room "if I were you I'd stock up on diapers and baby formula, those two are like rabbits."

I snapped. _I need something to throw at him! _I stopped playing and looked down at my sitar. _No, not my baby_, I thought then I spotted Zexion's laptop beside me on his bed. _Perfect! _I smiled evilly grabbing said laptop and chucking it at the silver-haired youth.

"Bull's eye!" I shouted when the laptop hit him square in the face. Dave shrieked.

"MY FACE! Right between the eyes too! DAMMIT!"

I laughed, quite loudly.

"Fuck you Demyx! Here I am trying to be a nice guy giving you some helpful advice and what do you do? You throw a fucking laptop at me!" he grabbed Zexion's laptop and threw it back at me. I ducked and we both stared wide eyed at each other when we heard the sickening crash of laptop meeting wall.

"Oh shit," Dave breathed.

"You are so dead," I told him, he glared at me.

"You started it,"

"You were the last to throw his laptop," I countered. Quick as lightening Dave leapt across the room and grabbed my sitar. I let out squeal. "Don't hurt my baby!"

"You are not telling Zexion that I threw his laptop," he threatened. I had never seen Dave so angry. I thought he was going to kill me; actually his glare just might cause my demise.

"Understand, _BRO?"_ his voiced was laced with venom. I nodded as I slipped my hand surreptitiously under Zexion's pillow where I knew he kept his massive biology book.

"M…mum's the word," I stuttered grabbing the text book and throwing it with as much force as possible at Dave. I once again hit him in the face.

"DAMMIT!" he roared throwing my sitar at me. I managed to catch it, but while I was busy making sure that it was safe I failed to catch the desk chair that was beamed at me.

I scrambled up from the floor, my sitar safely in my hands. I placed it on my bed and turned to Dave. He was staring at me with murderous rage in his eyes.

_Shit, _I thought to myself. I grabbed the lamp off of Zexion's desk and held it in what I hoped was a threatening manner. I wasn't any good at fighting and I found myself wishing I hadn't thrown the laptop.

"Damn, I missed your sitar. Oh well," he picked up my ethics book "I'll just have to keep trying until I smash it!"

* * *

After about 20 minutes of throwing everything and anything we could find at each other, the door burst open.

"Yo, Dem we're going to be lat…" Axel trailed off as he, Saix, and a pretty brunette stared at us.

Dave was preparing to throw my CD collection at me.

"Hi guys," I said weakly. Saix sighed and glared at us.

"I don't care what you two are doing," he said quietly "but it better stop now. Demyx we are going to be late to ethics, again."

I paled. "Professor Xaldin will kill us if were late again."

"He would," Saix answered "if he wasn't stoned."

I smiled; professor Xaldin was infamous for being a druggie and the campus dealer.

Dave was staring at the mysterious girl who, I now noticed, was holding Saix's hand.

"Well hey there sweet cheeks," he managed to say before Saix cut him off.

"Keep talking to her and I will personally castrate you. Now you probably don't know what that means so allow me to put it in dumbass terms: I will chop your dick off," Saix said coldly.

Dave snickered. "Down boy, I'll back off I wouldn't want your sloppy seconds anyway," he looked her up and down "no matter how hot she is."

"How dare you call her sloppy seconds!" Saix's buttons were being pushed. I moved slowly towards the girl. I assumed it would be safest behind her, Saix wouldn't hit her. Axel and Dave on the other hand were fair game.

The girl looked at her boyfriend. "What does he mean sloppy seconds?"

Dave grinned. "You've had sex right?"

She blushed in response, which meant he was right.

"You've had sex with Saix, why would I want to touch you knowing he already has?" Dave grinned at them.

"I will kill you," Saix growled.

The girl tugged on his arm. "Let's just go, 'kay? I don't want you to get in trouble for fighting."

"Aerith's right," Axel added. "He ain't worth it."

Saix seemed to calm down. "Let's go before we're late. Dave I suggest you go to school, I will call Leon."

Dave blanched "Oh please no," he begged and proceeded to run out of the room.

Saix calmly walked into the room, grabbed my ethics book and my backpack and handed both to me. "Let's go," he ordered. I nodded as I closed the door to my dorm.

As we walked I could hear Saix and Aerith talking behind me.

"I think my failed my math test," I heard her sweet voice say.

"What? I helped you study," Saix sounded incredulous.

She chuckled. "I kept thinking about what I plus you would equal."

He laughed. It was weird hearing him laugh. "Now I know you're lying," he said "you aced that test."

She giggled. "Maybe, or maybe I skipped the test,"

"You did no such thing," he interjected.

I turned to Axel. "How long have they been dating?" I asked.

He shrugged. "A week? Two? I really don't know, I try not to hang out with them because it's gross. Also Saix chooses her over ME!"

I realized that was a sore spot. I continued eavesdropping on Saix and Aerith.

"No, I didn't but I can't say the same thing about my biology class yesterday,"

Saix tried to stifle his laughter. "Oh?"

"Yes, I forgot to thank you for the private anatomy lesson,"

Saix shushed her. "Not so loud, I don't want them to hear us. Your brother might skin me if he found out."

"Augh, too late for that! You could have at least spared my ears! " Axel said loudly. "We can hear everything you say. You're paying for the therapist!"

I turned around just in time to see Saix smile. I stopped dead in my tracks as I stared at him. He was SMILING! At Aerith! _What has this girl done to him!_ I thought _He's no longer an emo kid!_

Axel grabbed my arm and dragged me the last few feet and into class. I sat behind Saix and Aerith to see if I could catch glimpses of this new Saix.

We were sitting in class for about ten minutes, praying that the professor wouldn't come. He stumbled in with two minutes left.

He looked totally gone.

"Alright guys," he said without removing his dark sunglasses "Um, what are we here for?"

"Ethics class, professor," Saix answered.

"Too right!" He said grinning widely.

"What is ethics?" he began "It's," he froze.

We all stared at him. His mouth swung open.

"HOLY FUCK! Someone get the fire extinguisher, call 911, that boy's head is on FIRE!" He screamed pointing towards Axel.

"Wha?" Axel blinked.

"Why are you all standing there! He's on FIRE!"

Xaldin ran out of the room but came back a few minutes later with a bucket.

"Professor…?" Axel slowly began to stand and move towards the back of the room.

"Don't worry young man, I'll save you!" he tossed the bucket of water on Axel.

Axel let out a girly scream. "MY HAIR!"

Xaldin smiled at him. "No need to thank me son. I'm glad I could help. As for the rest of you," he said turning to us. "Have you no morals? This boy could have died, yet you did nothing," he paused "This is a really good example of what ethics is actually."

"Professor," Saix stood "we did nothing because Axel was in no immediate danger. His head was not on fire it was simply his hair dye."

Xaldin stared wide-eyed at Saix. "Holy shit! A talking puppy! Someone grab him, he's gonna make me rich!"

Saix blinked, confused. Aerith tugged on his arm. "Did he just call you a dog?"

"NO FUCKING WAY!" Xaldin screeched causing me to jump. "He has a bitch! And she talks too!"

Saix glared at the professor. "She is not my bitch. Don't you dare call her that again," he growled.

"I think that dog might be rabid, young man," the professor looked at me and stared.

_Oh crap, _I thought.

"Young man," he repeated "why are there NAILS sticking out of your head?"

I reached up and lightly touched my spiky hair.

"Um, there's not?"

"This class is highly disturbed!" he cried.

He froze once more, this time staring at the wall in the back of the room. "A unicorn," he breathed.

He whipped around to face the window. "Wait, friend! I mean you no harm!" he ran towards the window and before we could stop him he launched himself out of it.

Out of the fifth story window.

Saix slowly walked towards the front of the class. Once there he cleared his throat.

"I believe that class is suspended indefinitely."

We all cheered as we walked out of class.

"Hey buddy!" Axel clamped a wet hand on my shoulder.

"You going to our induction party tonight?"

I smiled. We had gotten into a new Co-Ed Fraternity, Organization 13.

"Of course bro, I wouldn't miss it!"

"Good, good, HELP ME WITH MY HAIR!" he cried pointing to the sopping red mess on his head.

I stared. "Umm, okay."

* * *

We walked into the frat house. The building shook with the vibrations coming from millions of speakers spread around the living room.

"This party is gonna be so kicks ass!" Axel yelled.

I nodded. "Yeah this is gonna be SWEET!"

* * *

It didn't take long for most of us to be so drunk we couldn't form any real words. Larxene and Marluxia were making out on the couch…well that's going to be awkward in the morning. Saix was recording it on his phone and his girlfriend was snapping pictures of those two, revenge maybe? I looked around the room looking for a familiar red head in the crowd only to find him wrapped around Roxas. I can't wait to hear the story behind that one.

"Hey Rox! What's with the new coat?" I asked with a giggle as I tripped on nothing.

"You like? I am thinking of skinning it when I get home. I am missing a date for this? Hell no!" Roxas shouted causing Axel to moan in pain.

I just stared at him and started giggling.

"Demyx, are you okay?" Roxas asked.

"Hahaha, you're so tiny!" I said though it sounded kind of slurred which made me laugh harder.

"Oh great! Two drunks! Get your ass in Cloud's car Demyx. I am supposed to be having dinner with Naminé but Saix called me to tell me I had to pick up this drunken idiot. I might as well drop you off too," Roxas shouted as he dragged Axel to his car.

It only took us five tries to get Axel into the passenger seat before Roxas and I took our seats. I began to sway in the back seat giggling as Axel began hugging Roxas while he was trying to start the car.

"Axel stop touching me! I am trying to drive damn you!" Roxas shouted.

"Awe, but Roxy I love you. Don't you love me? We don't spend any time together anymore!" Axel whined. I just laughed and pressed my face against the nearest window. I could barely make out the outline of two people talking behind the car. Irrelevant! I looked back at Axel who was now half on Roxas.

"Axel I swear to God if you don't move I will start driving and you can just be responsible for us all dying in here!" Roxas shouted. When did he grow a pair?

"Awe, but Roxy!" Axel whined as he began petting Roxas's hair.

"Roxas, I don't wanna die before Zexion!" I stated.

"THAT'S IT!" Roxas shouted and pushing Axel off and shifting the car into reverse before hitting the accelerator.

"Um Rox…" I started.

"SHUT IT DEMYX!" he shouted and of course Axel took this time to jump into Roxas' lap. All I could hear was muffled screams before the car hit something hard.

"Roxas I think you hit something," I stated.

"No shit!" Roxas responded as he put the car in park and jumped out, but not before punching Axel so hard he lost consciousness. Not wanting to stay in the car with an almost dead looking Axel, I jumped out after Roxas.

"What did we hit?" I asked.

"Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck. HAYNER! He was my best friend! Xion…well I really didn't know or like her too much. HAYNER!" Roxas began ranting.

"Wait you hit people!" I asked as I ran to stand next to him and saw the two bloodied up bodies. "We should do something Roxas, we should call the cops!"

"FUCK NO! I am not going to jail because that jackass of a roommate caused me to hit two random ass people!" Roxas shouted. Okay this is NOT the Roxas I know.

"Right…um…I am going to wait in the car," I said as I made a run for the frat house, but not before Roxas grabbed my collar.

"Oh no you don't. You are helping me put these bodies in the trunk. Then you will lend me your cell phone so I can call someone who has experience in dealing with this sort of stuff," Roxas ordered. Is it me or are his eyes glowing red?

I gulped. This reminds me of_ I know what you did last summer_…I DON'T WANNA DIE AFTER WINNING A BEAUTY PAGEANT BECAUSE I SAW MY BOYFRIEND DIE! Wait. Let me try that again. I don't wanna die watching a beauty pageant. That's the one.

"DEMYX PICK UP THE BODIES!" Roxas shouted.

"Ew but they could have dead people cooties, plus when they find out you killed them I don't want my prints all over these bodies!" I responded only to be glared at. If looks could kill I'd have a hole through my skull!

"DEM!"

"Alright, alright hold on to your panties you fucking psycho!" I muttered as I picked up the girl. Zeo? Zebra? Ion? Yeah sure why not, that could be her name.

She was fucking heavy for a dead person…not that I know what a dead person would weigh or anything. I tossed her quickly into the trunk. I looked over at Hayner. There is no way I could pick that kid up. His ego alone weights a ton. Oh fuck I am making fun of a dead guy. I am going to hell.

I pulled Hayner's body near the trunk and in a horrible attempt managed to put him in the trunk (but not before slamming his head against the side of the car twice).

"You happy Roxas? I put dead people in your car!" I shouted. I miss being tipsy. This whole body-carrying thing killed my buzz.

"Yes. Now call up Zexion and ask him where I can dump them," Roxas commanded as he pulled the passenger seat opened and pulled Axel out.

"What are you doing to Axel?" I asked.

"When the idiot wakes up I don't want him to freak out," Roxas said casually "that would be more witnesses I would have to get rid of."

Okay, I am officially freaked out. I read about this in _Fruits Basket_, I think Roxas just went black. There is so much I never got to do, like kill Zexion for dating my sister. Wait, why would Zexion know where we could dump the bodies?

I picked up the phone and dialed Zexion anyways. I don't wanna make the crazy person mad.

"Don't worry Demyx, I didn't get pregnant," Rikku said as soon as the ringing stopped.

"Rikku! I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL PUT A CHASTITY BELT—never mind, put Zexion on. Its important." I said as calmly as I could with Roxas staring at me.

"How important, important enough…to kill?" Rikku said before laughing into the phone.

"Rikku, if you put Zexion on I'll tell mom not to get you another long sleeve knitted sweater for Christmas," I said.

"DEAL! Here Sexy Zexy," Rikku muttered before giggling.

"What do you want Demyx," Zexion asked calmly.

"Um, Zexy" I whispered "Roxy wants me to call you and ask you where we can, you know, um."

"Spit it out Demyx, I haven't got all day. I am on a date, remember?"

"Where do we dump dead bodies?" I spit out.

"Oh that. Tell him to go down three worlds from the beginning and to stay right. Ask for Jack and Sally. They will tell you what to do. Alright well I promised Rikku I would take her to the candy store. Later," Zexion said before hanging up.

I passed the information on to Roxas who just nodded and shoved me into the passenger seat…he used the child lock to keep me inside! I clawed at the window as he began driving off to wherever the hell we were supposed to dump the bodies.

* * *

"So he told us to find you and dump these here," Roxas finished calmly. WAY TO CALM FOR SOMEONE WHO RAN TWO PEOPLE OVER!

"Oh I see. Are they bloody? We really need more blood in our display especially for our vampires. Oh I can't wait! What do you think Sally? Do you think it'll be scary enough with more bodies and blood?" Jack asked. The man was dressed up like a tall skeleton, hell he was thin enough to pull it off.

"I don't know Jack. I think we should stick to horror and not get too gory. It's the suspense that gets them," Sally stated wrapping her arms around Jack as she cuddled against his chest. She has stitches all over her body and her complexion was extremely pale. She kind of reminded me of those rag dolls my mom used to get Rikku. Wait is that a needle sticking out of her arm! Oh God, why can't I be drunk again?

"Of course, you're right. Hey that reminds me. I was thinking of changing our theme to Christmas next month! It'll be exciting! You can make the suit and I can be Sandy Claws!" Jack stated.

"Or we could keep doing Halloween," Sally stated glaring at Jack who just laughed awkwardly before nodding.

"That's nice and all but I still have a date I have to get to. Can you take care of these or not?" Roxas asked.

"Just leave them right there Roxas," Zexion called as he walked out of the shadows. Okay consider me OFFICIALLY FREAKED OUT!

"Ze-zexion…shouldn't you be with—"

"I already took her home Demyx, don't worry she's safe," Zexion stated as he looked down at Xion and Hayner. He just smirked. "I never really cared for either of them myself, good thing too," Zexion stated.

"Yeah, yeah Zexion. What do we do about Demyx?" Roxas asked though his voice cracked. Yeah now you start freaking out!

"Nothing, Demyx will be a good boy and SHUT IT! Plus he'll probably forget by tomorrow knowing his attention span," Zexion stated.

"HEY! I resent that!" I responded.

"Hey Demyx who was that exorcist from that show you were watching?" Zexion asked.

"Allen Walker? Oh do you think we can watch that when we get home Zexy?" I asked thinking of the new update.

"Yeah sure thing Dem, we can watch it on my laptop. Come on let's go home. I'll take him Roxas, you go home," Zexion stated and dragged me along with him.

"Wait…what was I doing?" I asked. Zexion just smiled.

* * *

"Demyx turn that stupid phone off before I kick you out," Zexion muttered as he shifted in his bed and covered his face with the comforter.

"Sorry Zex," I muttered back as I sat up and reached for my cell phone.

Text message

Saix Puppy

View Now

View Later

I was about to click view later when curiosity got the better of me. I was already up and Saix obviously wanted me to know something. I mean it was 3 am, who texts someone at 3 am? I clicked view now and could barely control laughter as I fell onto the floor.

"Demyx, the sun isn't up. I do not intend to get up before the sun does," Zexion muttered.

"But Zexy you have to see this!" I squealed as I jumped on his bed on top of him.

"For God sakes Demyx it's fucking three in the morning. What is so important that you decided to assault me in the middle of the night?" Zexion asked as he sat up and knocked me off the bed.

I showed him my cell phone and watched as the expression on his face change from annoyed to a huge smile before he broke out into fits of laughter.

"Demyx, send that to everyone you know!" Zexion stated as he reached for his own phone.

I did as he told me, there was no doubt on my mind that Axel will set fire to all of Saix's clothes tomorrow morning…later today. I laughed again and looked back at the picture of Axel running around the school as naked as the day he was born.

* * *

**Okay guys so here is the list of references we made in the story, in case you didn't catch them.**

"**He froze once more, this time staring at the wall in the back of the room. "A unicorn," he breathed." –Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay**

"**Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck. HAYNER! He was my best friend! Xion…well I really didn't know or like her too much. HAYNER!" Roxas began ranting." –Boy Meets World, The Halloween ep with Jennifer Love Hewitt. **

"**How important, important enough…to kill?" –Boy Meets World**

"**Hey Demyx who was that exorcist from that show you were watching?" Zexion asked.**

"**Allen Walker?..." –D. Gray Man (anime)**


	13. Epilogue

**Alrighty the last chapter of Call it torture, call it university. All you Hetalia fans better stay tuned for a rarely updated cracktastic fanfic! But we do promise to write it in the iPercy Nikita-chan6 way: Awesomely Heroic! (Guess who's America and Prussia?) ALRIGHT SO WE HAVE THREE ENDINGS; THE REAL ONE AND TWO CRACK ONES. IN YOUR COMMENTS TELL US WHICH WAS YOUR FAVORITE CRACK ENDING! **

**EPILOGUE:**

**

* * *

**

I turned on my computer and waited for it to load up. I sat back in my chair and twiddled my thumbs. "Dean of students," I sighed. Sometimes I still couldn't believe that I was the dean of a university with thousands of students in it. Once my computer was loaded I found a strange new post it on my desktop.

'_Youtube this:_

"_Organization XIII Induction Ceremony"'_

_-Saix_

I smiled. Saix was such a sweet boy. "Too bad he's straight," I sighed. I opened my browser and googled youtube. I found the video and waited a few seconds for the video to load and hit play. My eyes widened as the video ticked away, showing me what my "beloved" students did for fun.

_The video began with everyone sitting around or dancing to some bad pop music. Suddenly the door opened and Dave walked in carrying two crates. _

"_Listen up Ladies and Losers, by 'Induction Ceremony' I assumed party. So who's gonna help me with the booze?"_

_Riku walked over and pat his 'son' on the back. "Good job son, I'm proud of you."_

_Demyx and Axel helped Dave carry the crates to a nearby table. They popped open the top, revealing bottles of beer, vodka, rum, and whiskey. They started passing out bottles._

_Soon everyone was dancing drunkenly, grinding on each other._

I shuddered as I watched them dance but I still had two minutes left.

_Axel had the most drinks of all and was soon ready to pass out. Roxas burst in the room._

"_Axel!" he roared. Upon spotting his drunk roommate he stormed over to him and pulled him up off the floor._

"_You prick! I was at dinner with my girlfriend and her family! I wanted to impress them because I love her and I want to continue dating her. Instead I'm here picking up your drunk ass!"_

_So that's where he went,_ I thought as I remembered the dinner from the other night. _What an unconventional confession of love, it was cute? _I continued watching the video.

_The camera swiveled over to Marluxia and Larxene sitting on the couch. The two of them were talking and laughing. Each word uttered brought them closer together until they finally brought their lips together._

I had been watching them kiss for about ten seconds when the door opened. I looked up to see my boyfriend (wife, his cover) standing there with an embarrassed look on his face. I just glared.

**

* * *

**

**Roxas:** I can't believe I KILLED someone…I killed two people…JACK BETTER MAKE IT LOOK LIKE THEY DIDN'T EXIST!

**Riku:** I can't believe she said yes! Why would any girl choose Axel over me! He's a nobody, a…hello. How you doing pretty thing?

**Axel:** SHE SAID YUS! NOW WE CAN GET TOGETHER AND MAKE BABIES! Take that Roxas!

**Naminé:** I'm so happy that Roxas and I are together, but he seems to be hiding something from me. He must have some skeletons in the closet, but we all do.

**Zexion:** I am starting to agree with Demyx maybe she should put some clothes on, I don't know how much more blood I can lose.

**Dave:** FUCK YEAH! School is over AND more importantly I GOT LAID! This chick in a yellow dress named Selphie totally had it in for me, and I had it in her! YES BEST YEAR EVER!

**Cloud:** Not even Marly wants me... I am such a failure. Oh God hot blonde act cool Cloud...that didn't just happen... She has a girlfriend!

**Leon:** ... **Rinoa:** TALK! Damn it Squall! It doesn't matter if other people are here! SPEAK!

**Marluxia**: I kissed a girl, and I didn't like it. I hope my boyfriend doesn't mind. I walk into the dean's office. "Hey babe, I want to talk to you…."

**Saix:** If you look at my girlfriend one more time, I will rip out your eyes and make you eat them.

**Aerith:** Saix, you know I love you right? I wish you wouldn't scare my lab partner like that, I might fail the class.

**Larxene:** Why did I say yes? He must have drugged me that bastard! I'll break every bone in his body. I looked up towards the random red blob in my vision. A red rose? Okay I'll hurt him later.

**Demyx:** Why Zexy why! My Baby! I woke up to my poor sitar in six pieces on my bed. My life...is over! I ran my fingers over the wooden pieces till I saw the crumbled paper saying "we are even."

* * *

**OR IT COULD HAVE ENDED LIKE THIS! ****This ending brought to you by Ihateyaoimoar:**

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* * *

**

**Roxas:** I love Justin beiber! KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

"My first love broke my heart for the first time,  
And I was like  
Baby, baby, baby ohhh  
Like baby, baby, baby noo  
Like baby, baby, baby ohh  
I thought you'd always be mine mine"

**Riku:** * Stares at Rikku's ingrown beard. Are you ok? Um Why do you have a tail? And why are you pulling a Brittany spears and going bald?

**Rikku:** *DEEP TRUCKER VOICE* Hey guys how do you like my new look? This from all those protein fish shakes that I used to Drink!

**Axel:** Yummmm Naminé you look like the passion fruit of fruit salad! I would like to open you like a pomegranate!

**iPercy:** O.O

**Naminé:** I would rather have the kid of an apple pie, then make babies with Axel!

**Zexion:** *Stares at Roxas' keyblade longingly*

**Dave:** Zexion are you ok? .U

**Cloud:** HEY! GUYS! LIKE! I TOTALLY LOVE THIS NEW DOLCE AND GABANA SCARF OHHH!

**Nikita-chan6:** *DIED FROM LAUGHTER*

**Leon:** MMmmmm Cloud u soooo sexy ;)

**Zexion:** *Stares at Roxas' keyblade longingly*

**Marluxia:** I kissed a tree and I LIKED ITTT!

**Saix:** That tree was yummy ;)

**Larxene:** You guys are fucking crazy…

**Zexion:** *Stares at Roxas' keyblade longingly*

**Demyx:** *Stares at Zexion *

* * *

**OR IT COULD HAVE ENDED LIKE THIS! ****This ending brought to you by Ihateyaoi:**

**

* * *

**

**Previously on La Casa de las rosas de Oblivion (The house of the Oblivion Roses):**

**Roxas: Bitch I told you! *smashes his keyblade over her head* **

**Naminé: *falls to the ground***

**Roxas: Mierda…..**

**(Oh shit)**

**

* * *

**

**Larxene: It's business time!**

**Axel: What are you talking about?**

**Larxene: Imma rape you!**

**Axel: But I really want it. So it's not rape.**

**Larxene: YES IT IS! **

**Axel: Can I at least have whipped cream on it?**

**Larxene: NO! *rapes***

**

* * *

**

***Current Episode***

**Ihateyaoimoar:** I can wake her up!

**Roxas:** She's in a coma dumbfuck.

**Ihateyaoimoar:** I got this! *strips slowly* It's getting hot in here! *takes off fireman coat*

**Roxas:** How is this going to work?

**Ihateyaoimoar:** I'm a professional.

Naminé wakes up.

**Roxas:** BITCH I TOLD YOU TO STAY IN THAT COMA! *smacks her with keyblade again*

**Ihateyaoimoar:** All my hard work *sighs* I'm still getting paid.

* * *

**Larxene:** CLOUD! It's raping time!

**Cloud:** NOOOOOOOO! *whimper*

Marluxia walks in.

**Marluxia:** No Larxexe rape me! I love you!

**Larxene:** That's not rape!

**Marluxia:** But I have whipped cream!

**Axel:** Then what the hell did we do earlier!

**Larxene:** RAPE!

*Cloud cries*

**Reporter:** Sir we heard there was an incident earlier today, do you know what happened?

**Dave:** Well obviously we have a rapist in Kingdom Hearts, she's walkin' in yo bedrooms, not letting you use whipped cream, tryin' to rape you! So y'all need ta hide yo blades, hide yo hearts, hide yo blades, hide yo hearts, hide yo blades, hide yo hearts, and hide yo heartless cause they rapin' everybody out here!

* * *

**Demyx:** Hey Roxas, how's Naminé?

*Roxas pulls out a gun*

**Zexion:** Yo soy El Vaquero! Té salvo! (I am The Cowboy! I'll save you!)

**Saix:** Woof! (woof!)

*Roxas points the gun at Demyx and fires. Demyx falls to the ground bleeding.*

**Demyx:** Yo quiero Taco Bell….. *dies* (I want Taco Bell)

**Zexion:** NOOOOOOO! CHALUPA! (No Chalupa)

Zexion falls into a deep depression and drowns his sorrows in whipped cream, unfortunately The Cowboy has gained 300 lbs.

* * *

**Riku:** I love you Leon. I want to spend the rest of my life with you!

**Leon:**…..

**Riku:** Don't you love me? I really care about you and I thought I you felt the same way.

*Leon grabs Riku's crotch*

**Riku:** Ummm, Does this mean you love me or you want to fuck me?

*Leon picks up Riku bridal style, and walks away*

**Leon:** I need to stop at the store; I need to pick up some whipped cream.

Fin 


End file.
